The Quotes Museum

[Strombone]

In summing up...

...since 2004 the GS has turned into an unreliable, over complicated,over priced Chinese piece of shit ridden by ignorant old farts in twat suits.

I was told that even BMW dealers call them twat suits!

[Abercol]

Aha...the dictionary may help here:

Twat Suit; Descriptive Noun, The covering of the Twat by suitable apparel, such as a G String

So its no surprise all of the Twat Suits are on GS's

[kissofdeath]

[Gassoon]

From the 'Department of Dodgy Similes' comes this in a discussion of 2112's brake-disc-chewing Moto Guzzi NTX...

Re: Guzzi v Strom

by Andy M » Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:19 pm

"2112 wrote: Cracking brakes mind while they were working ! I had a good gander on a couple of Guzzi forums and no one else had the same issues. Probably just needs a reconditioned rider..."


Yep, material defect. The alloy or heat treatment will have been wrong and given a fantastic micro structure but no strength to it. Grips like a surfers bum on a coral reef but breaks up like toffee hit by a super tanker

 

[MartinW]

I think AndyM could have his own sub-museum because almost everything he writes makes me think "How does he keep managing to come up with this stuff"
 

[loggamatt]

Maybe an AndyM special exhibit at an extra cost, like they do at the British Museum

[mr_diver]

so you want to put him in a little room and charge people to stare at him?  

[loggamatt]

Ah yes, maybe a freak show kind of thing...  

Though, I think you'd probably get a lot of competition amongst strummers for being the freak show fat man, myself included!

[Andy M]

Thank you for the kind words. I feel better for getting this sort of thing off my chest, as do my carers.

Andy

[mjc506]

I like this:

search.php?author_id=3629&sr=posts

[Gassoon]

In 'Open Days' for the new 1000, Strombone says:

That Versys 1K is a good bike. I rode along with a white one with panniers on the North Circular and M1 this evening and I like the look. The owner agreed there were 6K vibes arse hat it wasn't a problem.
I am almost tempted to buy one and then wait for second hand Veeks to come out of the woodwork, instead of Plan A which is put down a deposit on the Veek.

[edit: why is strombone talking of 'arse hats' ? answer: the americanism filter changed his slight typo "...6K vibes butthat wasn't a problem..."]

I think I'll be going around saying 'Arse hat!' for a while...  Thank you for your contribution to the english language, sir.

[Jacko]

Ohhh, so that's what arse hat is.

[Gassoon]

Amidst general drooling over mr nick's photo of his KTM 990, we have this:

Re: My New Toy (in PHOTOS)

by zimcruza » Sat Nov 09, 2013 10:11 am

Park next to an 1190 at work - looks nice but sounds like a bag of spanners in a tumble-drier

TLPower says:

That's just saved me the thick end of 14 grand then.

It has to sound right........

The same issue affects the Multistrada in my humble opinion,it sounds like a skeleton having a w##k in a dustbin.

   

[Jacko]

[Gassoon]

Right! It's story time! What will we have tonight? OK, by popular demand...

The Story of How Josh Dug Himself a Hole.

I want one!!!

His friend, mr diver, his eyes out on stalks asked "Where's the bike?"

So jabmotorsport replied

Oh yeah the bike, I want one of those too

Jab was pleased with his reply and there was lots of joking about the young lady on the bike in the picture...everybody had a great time...but he'd forgotten one thing! His girlfriend reads the forum!

Pillion Princess

Hi I know I've not posted for a while but .....

JOSHUA I believe that you have a lovely bike and a lovely women ie ME!!!!!!!!

Oh dear !

At least his friends would help him out:

mr locky said:     "Pics of young Josh beaten to a pulp please"    

mr rat said: "Joshua, you need to start with chocolates and flowers and then assess the situation"

mr diver said: "And if the bird still won't let you do the dirty you can still snog the bike."   (Er, thank you mr diver...)

And his friend mr juvecu said: "Busted! One for the quote museum, Gas? This is hiliarious"    

Poor jabmotorsport!

And all he could think of was to ask "What about if I bought her the bike??  


And the moral of the story? Get a stronger password...??

Suggestions posted here

[Descolada]

Well that explains the whole back story to the comment he made on my post earlier today "I'm already in enough trouble at home" sort of thing. It's good when all the bits come together.  

However, this is the most irresponsible thing I have ever seem. No helmet, no gloves and no leather/textiles. How this young lady expects to survive an accident I'll never know.  

[MartinW]

Easy Des ... Twin Airbags.

[Descolada]

 

[Gassoon]

From the VStrom First Ride thread (which is 90% about money for some reason) a discussion about Suzuki's pricing strategies with regards different countries, and changes to price of the spotlights has SimonW say ironically:

"Brilliant - the price has already come down in 3 weeks then. By February they [the new Stroms] might be affordable!"


Jacko replied  (Mon Dec 09-2013)

"...but still not worth it".


mr_diver wrote: "The price is all relative..."

Geocachinglegend quipped "True, and my relative would never let me spend that much."


Ta -daaa! Ithangyou!


Next up - some muff thread quotes. [Mods, can I say that? ]

[MartinW]

Finally, I have my place in Mr Gassoon's museum.