The Quotes Museum

[Gassoon]

Agreed, Joe - in fact I was about to call Scotland Yard until I read on a bit further...

[JRS81]

  I'd never really thought about it before, but I suspect that to the average person eavesdropping on a group of enthusiasts chatting about either guitars or motorbikes all they hear is a stream of impenetrable gobbledygook!

[Gassoon]

'The Glorious Fish and Chip' thread seemed to highlight some schisms amongst the Tykes of the is it 'lunch' or 'dinner' variety   As a denizen of the even grimmer north-east of England, where we can't afford fancy things like schisms, and if we could we'd put a doily on it and keep it on a shelf in the bog, I found it fascinating.

During the debate AndyM replies to hookies' difficulty finding a decent curry, living in France:

"A spot of coq isn't bad though and your roads are more empty, mind."

Snowstrom of the 'dinner' schism (or true faith?): "If you have spots on your coq, perhaps you should seek medical attention? ^^"

Hehheh! Yorkshire!

[Gassoon]

From the HUMOUR section:

ProfG's joke...

I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."

I said, "I haven't got an erection!"

She replied, "No, but I have!"

Moderator MartinW replied 'Prof - I nearly moved this last joke to the "Trip Reports" section as I believe it is autobiographical'.   

[Gassoon]

Re: Welding

« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2016

The 'start as you mean to go on' theory

Mr Diver: "I bought one of the Ark welders from Lidl a few years back.

Watched a few youtube vids, and promptly set my hair on fire."

 

[mr_diver]

I'm becoming a regular here.

[Abercol]

That'll be the prunes. Keeps you regular.

[MartinW]

After Wurzel adapted a shipping container to use as a top box he made the mistake of welcoming any ridicule that may follow.

Along came Plumber02 to make sure Wurzel wasn't disappointed.

it looks like it could have its own moon, was it once a cold war fallout shelter , when you say use it for just cloths do you work as a delivery driver for tk max , you could mount a scooter to the back of it or maybe 10 or 15  20ltr jerry cans, if you cut the bottom of it off and put in a few windows you could use it on the pick-up in the backround and turn it into a camper , forget dominos you could fit a complete stone oven in there with 3 small italian chefs  ,     only joking bro at least you are handy on the back wheel which will help , are those pr4's you have the GT version cause you may need that extra strength , I wouldn't bother with stickers only the ones legally required for a rigid body truck , at least the price of scrap aluminum is up so surely there's a couple of grands worth there  , I'm so sorry man but I couldn't resist 

Nicely put Plumber 

[MartinW]

By popular request.

Mark Shelley posted this

• "Rukka Apollo are excellent but pricey if you want three season and waterproof. Always try on in store with Rukka as their sizing comes up very small. Can't beat the old school Hein Gericke Pathan 'lobster' gloves for Winter use."

Then, 40 days later and in the same thread he posted this ...

• "I own both of these and agree with everything."

Then three hours later, he posted this ....

• "F**k me, I have just quoted my own post and agreed with myself! Early onset Alzheimers......I Hope not!"

Well Done Mark. Hours of fun there.

[Gassoon]

  well spotted Martin. And (eventually) well spotted Mark!

[Gassoon]

From Traitor's Corner September 08, 2016

Andy M has a mild, but inventive, rant about BMWs : "I've had 5 machines by the Bavarian Muppetry Wallahs and am now cured. Weird designs mean they have to cut corners on the materials. The dealers truly believe the Bring My Wallet marketing strategies and aren't just obeying orders."

Triumph in my experience want to become Broken Motorcycles Worldwide inc, and are copying as much as they can..."


Abercol : "I too suffered the Bavarian Motor Wonky. I've never had so many major faults with wallet emptying abilities with any other motorised transport, two wheels or four (and I've ridden some crap old bangers over the years, but enough about the missus) ..."

[Gassoon]

From 'The Moaning Old Git' thread:

Moaning about celebrities named within TV show titles, Mr Diver suggests 'Extreme Fishing With Robson Green', and Stromgeezer replies

"For some reason I read that as 'extreme fisting' with Robson Green.

Still not sure I'd watch that though...".

Rustynuts: "Not being an expert, I find myself wondering if there is any form of the above which is not extreme?"

Tallpaul: "No one would watch if it was merely described as "mundane fishing with John Prescott..."

Andy M says: "If they..."  [oh bugger it, it's all well worth a read HERE from july 10th on...]

[StromGeeza]

From 'The Moaning Old Git' thread:

Moaning about celebrities named within TV show titles, Mr Diver suggests 'Extreme Fishing With Robson Green', and Stromgeezer replies

"For some reason I read that as 'extreme fisting' with Robson Green.

Still not sure I'd watch that though...".

Rustynuts: "Not being an expert, I find myself wondering if there is any form of the above which is not extreme?"

Tallpaul: "No one would watch if it was merely described as "mundane fishing with John Prescott..."

Andy M says: "If they..."  [oh bugger it, it's all well worth a read HERE from july 10th on...]

As well as my eyes misleading me, now my hearing is playing up too...
 
I was agog hearing an ad for a 'LadyBoy sofa' on TV recently. 

[Gassoon]

ProfG starts thread in Blue Oyster here about safety/insurance implications of cameras mounted to helmets.

AndyM on fixing his camera : I used duct tape. It's a bit annoying where is passes over the visor but its nice and secure.

I..once even ran with scissors too!

[Gassoon]

Fantastic Film thread! Warning! adult content. (that should stop you looking!)

HERE

[Joe Rocket]

Martin W ............" owning a Strom and listening to Radio 1 are Mutually Exclusive "

 

[MartinW]

I'm finally famous, thanks Joe.

I thought the Museum was derelict.

[Fat Rat]

The Curator is knocking on a bit 

[Joe Rocket]

Mr Diver recently.........

"Only women like shiny silver things"

Explanation please.       

[MartinW]

On a thread about making things with lathe's, Wurzel reported that he had made gear knobs for his cars. He worded it like this .....

..... my lass loves the knob I gave her...she rubs it to a sheen every time she drives the car .....