Author Topic: Hotels  (Read 2420 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline 2112

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Mar 2009
  • Posts: 11269
  • Bike: Suzuki GS750E 1982 (in bits)
  • Location: Northumberland
Hotels
« on: September 27, 2014, 18:15:49 »
Yes, Hotels. These wonderful buildings have everything the thinking man can require on his travels. They usually offer somewhere to park, comfy beds, copious quantities of hot water, fresh towels and even room service ! You can get a nice breakfast there or even an evening meal, possibly with a nice bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape and a nice Cognac to finish of a fine evening. Some even offer Spa treatments where the weary traveler may have his/her aches and pains soothed away in blissfully harmonious surroundings.

The best bit about hotels is you don't have to take them with you, meaning more room in the panniers for a nice bottle of Veuve Clicquot or a Heidsieck & Co or even a Tattinger (if you're slumming it...). Hotels - this is the future of 'camping'.


P.S. for best results avoid the 1*, 2*, 3* and 4* ones, full of rif raf... Toodle pip.
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline Holmsey

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 2983
Re: Hotels
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2014, 18:26:03 »
I think the second Vamper has reared their head  :shrug:
Life on two wheels is better than 4 because the wife don't go on two wheels                " I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE "

Offline MartinW

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • *****
  • Joined: Jan 2012
  • Posts: 9545
  • Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
  • Location: Swindon
Re: Hotels
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2014, 18:45:08 »
2112 - I think I might have been to one of them hotel thingies. Does a bit of totty come round and clear up and make your bed for you ?
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!

Offline tallpaul

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 7332
  • Tastier than the Barrow-in-Furness bus depot...
  • Bike: 2016 Yamaha XT1200ZE
  • Location: Whitworth, Lancashire
Re: Hotels
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2014, 19:32:29 »
Stayed in loads of them over the years as a traveling service engineer. Rule number one on arrival is to empty the contents of the tea, coffee and sugar packs from the brewing facilities. Do that for every day in residence equals free brews when you get home! Don't get them perks kipping in a crusty transit...
Old enough to know better, but still too young to care...

Offline Brockett

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 3267
  • Bike: SV650: VX800:
  • Location: Far North East (of Essex)
Re: Hotels
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2014, 23:42:02 »
As the evening draws in on the campers they heap brushwood onto the fire pit and talk pish lol  until all the booze has been drunk  :obscene-drinkingchug: and they stagger off to their tents, trying to recall the names of the folk whose company they have so much enjoyed. Meantime the indoor folk have sat in the bar paying four times the price for every drink ### , their attempts at conversation defeated by the blaring PA which never does quite play anything anywhere near their kind of music :GRR:  until they wander of to their room where they turn on the telly and watch the same old crap they could have seen had they stayed home :wtf: .

I'd rather be camping or vanping.

Although, hotel walls do muffle the amateur snorers still there are some strommer who could easily destroy the walls of Jericho. ( no names  - no writs)
Look at the clock and the calendar.
It'll never be now again.
So just get out and do it.
As fast as you possibly can.

Offline 2112

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Mar 2009
  • Posts: 11269
  • Bike: Suzuki GS750E 1982 (in bits)
  • Location: Northumberland
Re: Hotels
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2014, 08:36:00 »
Quote from: "MartinW"
2112 - I think I might have been to one of them hotel thingies. Does a bit of totty come round and clear up and make your bed for you ?

They only clear up if you've made a mess  :shy:
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline SausagesDad

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Mar 2014
  • Posts: 548
Re: Hotels
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2014, 09:00:15 »
That happens at home but my bit of totty usually makes the bed saying "why do I always have to make the bed? It's not a bloody hotel you know."

I don't understand making the bed. It just gets unmade again. Very inefficient process.

Offline 2112

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Mar 2009
  • Posts: 11269
  • Bike: Suzuki GS750E 1982 (in bits)
  • Location: Northumberland
Re: Hotels
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2014, 14:12:50 »
Quote from: "SausagesDad"
I don't understand making the bed. It just gets unmade again. Very inefficient process.

Agreed, it's a bit like getting washed, all that fuss and bother getting wet just to get dry again.
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline Gassoon

  • Quotes Museum Curator & Moderator
  • Member
  • ****
  • Joined: Jan 2010
  • Posts: 7206
  • Bike: 2017 DL650X
  • Location: Tyneside
Re: Hotels
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2014, 17:42:00 »
Quote from: "2112"
Agreed, it's a bit like getting washed, all that fuss and bother getting wet just to get dry again.


 lol   With that statement - At heart you must be a camper!
"I am a dignified citizen of the area, not a fox-faced vagabond in an over-fancy hat!"

Offline MartinW

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • *****
  • Joined: Jan 2012
  • Posts: 9545
  • Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
  • Location: Swindon
Re: Hotels
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2014, 07:40:26 »
I stayed in a really posh van on Friday night. It was a Korean model called a Hotelus Luxurious and comes with a Maid, a Restaurant and a bar. Recommended !

Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!

Offline 2112

  • Member
  • ***
  • Joined: Mar 2009
  • Posts: 11269
  • Bike: Suzuki GS750E 1982 (in bits)
  • Location: Northumberland
Re: Hotels
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2014, 17:17:24 »
Martin, you truly have grasped what 'alternative camping' means. I salute you sir.

P.S. nice pad  :thumb:
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'