December 13, 2018, 21:02:54

Author Topic: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own  (Read 346 times)

Offline TLPower

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I've been doing a spot of "tidying" in the garage. I found a contraption that claimed to turn my angle grinder into a precision instrument https://www.machinemart.co.uk/p/einhel-ts-125115l-angle-grinder-cut-off-stand/ . I attempted to cut some tube once, I still have the scar. I also found a curtain device that claimed to cure wind buffeting under a bike helmet.

It didn't.

Whilst clearing out my Dad's garage I found a tyre inflator that required a spark plug to be removed, screw in the hollow dummy plug and start the engine, the dummy plug had a rubber hose and tyre valve attachment. I remember him using it once bless him.

As we're approaching the season of goodwill I thought it might be nice to share our "good idea at the time" items. :)
Kick your tyres, light your fires and the last one off 's a cissy....

Captain Eric "Winkle" Brown.



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Online Freddyfruitbat

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2018, 16:20:54 »
Easy.
Saw set - been in my various workshops/toolboxes/cupboards for about 40 years, when I bought it new back in the days when you laboriously sharpened wood saws rather than binning them and buying a new one from Screwfix for for 50p.  Never actually used it once.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01JZX9EI6
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Online hotbulb

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2018, 16:56:36 »
I see that the angle-grinder stand thing's been discontinued: perhaps you're not the only one to find it useless?
I have one of those sparkplug tyre pump things.... bought it for the Land Rover 20odd years ago.... it lives in an old toolbox, and no, I've never tried it :shrug:

Online Rusty Nuts

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2018, 17:18:53 »
Who wouldn't want to fill their tyres with an air/fuel mixture? Do they make one for single cylinder engines?


Online tallpaul

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2018, 17:29:12 »
 lol
Old enough to know better, but still too young to care...

Online MartinW

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2018, 18:30:25 »
They do Rusty. But it doesn't work.

I suspect the most useless tool I own is waiting for me in a jiffy bag when I get home tonight. A windscreen wiper arm remover. It's rusted to hell and back and been soaking in oil and still won't come off. I suspect the tool won't help.
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!

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Online Rusty Nuts

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2018, 19:06:21 »
Not a bike item, but the basin wrench. The chunky forged item with cranked  jaws just oversized enough to round off the back nuts on taps, and with shoulders so big and jaws so long that you can maybe turn the nut 5 degrees before it hits something under the sink/bath.
@TLP,  tried a Windjammer neoprene draught excluder -  only just got it on, nearly ripped my ears off getting it back off. Wearing a flip lid now, binned the item.
@MartinW, my mental picture of the tyre inflator has just acquired another level of silliness - trying to use it on a single cyliner kickstart only bike.

Offline old git

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2018, 19:18:23 »
A few years back I bought a pair of Oxford paddock stands. The rear is just about useable but the front was useless. First time I used it my FJR nearly ended up in a heap. Utter shite!

Offline Holmsey

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2018, 19:52:26 »
The wife ..... she is a complete Tool
Life on two wheels is better than 4 because the wife don't go on two wheels                " I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE "

Online kwackboy

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2018, 19:56:01 »
I'm sure she would get very handy if she read what you'd said ..  lol
kawasaki GTR 1400 2010, Honda CB500F 2015

Offline Tusker

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2018, 19:59:40 »
Rusty I think I have the same tool although I call it a "Tap Spanner" it looks the part but I cannot get it anywhere near a tap nut !!!  :dl_smiley_banghead: :dl_smiley_banghead: ### ###

Offline TLPower

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2018, 20:38:17 »
@Rusty, the wind jammer that was it. An excellent ear hair removal device and that was it. I too have a tap spanner and mine works fine, when we moved into TL Towers the original bath had the taps at the side nearest the wall. The bathroom had just been installed by an idiot. One of the taps was loose and he'd sealed the panel on and obviously sealed the bath in. The only way for me to tighten said tap was to measure meticulously in the adjoining bedroom and pull out a breeze block.

Which I did.

I then tightened the tap with my tap spanner and wrapped the breeze block in an old towel instead of mortar in case the other tap came loose.

Which it did. :)
Kick your tyres, light your fires and the last one off 's a cissy....

Captain Eric "Winkle" Brown.



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Online Rusty Nuts

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2018, 20:53:08 »
Did you cover the loose block with a poster of Rita Hayworth?

Online kwackboy

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #13 on: December 06, 2018, 21:04:33 »
Ah yes .. the the loose tap redemption great film .
kawasaki GTR 1400 2010, Honda CB500F 2015

Online Rusty Nuts

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2018, 21:07:41 »
The Armitage Shanks Redemption.

Offline wurzel

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2018, 21:23:29 »
I bought a nose and ear hair remover, bloody thing jammed in my nostril hair, I suppose it worked in a way, I had to pull it out along with half the hairs... :bawl:

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2018, 21:42:09 »
TLP

Used one of those spark plug tyre pumper uppers a number of years ago, and even used it to spray the lower sections of my 1960 Vauxhall Victor FB estate.
Did not do a very good job, but enough of a one to sell the rust heap.
Good memories though.

Crazyhorse


Online MartinW

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #17 on: December 07, 2018, 10:44:39 »
Well. Well.

It seems my cheap Chinese Windscreen Wiper pulling tool did exactly what it said on the tin, which was ...."它会将挡风玻璃刮水器臂拉开" .... and my wiper arm came off OK.

I guess I better buy a Spark Plug driven Vacuum Cleaner for my Freezer so that I own something pointless too.
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!

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Offline Brockett

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #18 on: December 07, 2018, 13:07:26 »
I have a:-
A mitre saw which is accurate to about 5 degrees.
A blue double ended plumbing wrench
A drill sharpening machine
A microwave double egg poacher

Look at the clock and the calendar.
It'll never be now again.
So just get out and do it.
As fast as you possibly can.

Online Graham62

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Re: The most useless accessory or tool you have had the misfortune to own
« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2018, 13:37:43 »
that last one is OK if you can find some double eggs.  :thumb:
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Graham