The moaning old git thread

[Brockett]

Yes and on tube trains, backpackers with giant rucksacks who turn around and knock folk down like nine pins.

[ProfG]

I have a new tablet for sale on eBay. It clearly says 7" tablet. The description says 'tablet'. It is listed under:  Computers/Tablets & Networking   >   Tablets & eBook Readers.

D!ckhead messages me whether it is unlocked and can it be used to make calls 

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   

[Rusty Nuts]

Tell him yes, then when he buys it and whinges, say "Skype."

[Joe Rocket]

SO.......

Has this come up before?

 

[Rusty Nuts]

So many times. Still valid for a moan, though.

[Joe Rocket]

I'll file that in alphabetical order just in front of 'There, Their and They're' then.......... 

[MartinW]

Absolutely Joe

[Joe Rocket]

Simple! 

[ProfG]

Effin eBay scroats again.

3 weeks ago a fellow bid for an item and won it. He did not have the money and wanted me to wait until he got the money sorted out 10 days later. I agreed if he would send me a deposit. He said he would and that he would ask his girlfriend to make the full payment. 2 weeks later nothing, so I contacted him and he did not have the money and wanted to wait until he got paid at the end of the month. To be honest I felt sorry for him and told him I would relist the item but if he came up with the money I would pull the sale off eBay and send him it. He agreed. I know I should've reported him for messing me about and declared him a non-payer but I honestly felt sorry for him as he kept on promising to 100% pay for it as he put it.
Anyway, I put the item for sale again and today it sold. After it had sold this fellow contacted me saying he wants it. 
Reported him to eBay. Unfortunately seller cannot leave negative feedback or I would've done so 

[Andy M]

I'm afraid I go for the assumption (possibly wrong) that anyone bidding on EBay who doesn't have the money is not going to have the highest financial reliability.

I give short shrift to most of the guff on the basis that as soon ss you say yes they'll ask for more.

Can I collect from your house ; no I don't want to wait in for you and have you come back with buyers guilt three weeks later.

Will you ship to Nigeria; No, the last bloke claimed it never landed and EBAY took my money. Use Gadaffis gold or the money resting in your account and buy from the dealer.

Will you end the auction if I offer cash: No I do not wish you and your brother to try and knock the price down. I will not be paying your uncle a sellers comission for coming to see it.

Will it fit a 1994 CBR750 RS? No, absolutely not. The fact you asked if a Moto Guzzi part will fit a Honda suggests you are clueless and are going to be hard work. You probably sell chain lube for Guzzis don't you?

Is it in perfect condition? No. Nothing is perfect and I bet our ideas differ. Used means I took it out of the box and used it.

I can see a bike lift in the back of the picture, is that included? No, and neither is the garage, my thumb or next doors cat.

Remember the old sales addage that the customer is always right includes the word customer; someone who buys something. Idiots wanting free stuff aren't buying.

Andy

[grumps]

Saw this in a paper. Amused me....What's so special about Danish water that they have to sneak it out in bacon?

Another consumer con of course.
Like pre-diluted screenwash.

[tallpaul]

Cheers grumps, I need a bacon butty now...

Sent using carrier pigeon...

[grumps]

Just had one which reminded me. The drains are still taking away the added water. Or do Danish pigs have to swim a lot?

[tallpaul]

Clean pigs. They love a good bath!

Sent using carrier pigeon...

[RustyCavalier]

Shiteheads who don't know how to indicate on roundabouts. Or at all.
Not that I care about putting my foot down and stopping, but I really didn't need to because the dead sailor floating round the roundabout just turned off before me.

High plains drifters who sit in lane 3 of the motorway for no apparent reason. In order to pass them I need to move from lane one all the way out to lane 4 and then back again.

Oh, one more. Sorry we missed you leaflets from Royal Mail.
Well I'm sorry too. I work all the same hours your collection office is open and I'm sorry my kids rabbit didn't sign for it. Now we can play parcel drop tennis for the next week.

There are others but this will do for now.

[tallpaul]

Good effort though...!

Sent using carrier pigeon...

[Rusty Nuts]

.....People who order tons of shyte and bugger off out when I try to deliver. I'll stick a "it's behind the bin" card through the door then take it home and ebay it if you prefer!

[Stonec0ld]

Leaf blowers. What is the effing point? You see blokes spending hours blowing them into the road, only for a car to go passed and blow them all back! Really annoys me that when I'm in the bike they're just making the road more dangerous for me. Stop being so bloody lazy, buy a bloody rake and put them in the compost/bin!

.

[joderest]

Ebay !!!!!
I bid and won a 2nd hand suspension pump for my Discovery for 0.99p, which I could not believe, I had already asked the seller before I bid if he would post it, and he said yes. After the auction, I asked him to add posting costs, and he replied, collection only. When I reminded him he had agreed to post, he said it would be £23.00, so I said, OK (£24.00 for a pump was still good).
He then replied he dropped it in the garage, and it was no good now and cancelled the sale !!!!!!

I suspect he wanted a bit more than 0.99p !!!!!!

[TLPower]

Re leaf blowers, turn the rotary switch 60 degrees and they become leaf eaters and chopper uppers. I actually aimed for a stack some half wit was in the process of dumping on the road, MAN tanker doing 38mph (in a 40 Holmsey) versus leaves = mini cyclone and back to square one for the idiot with a blower.

Another annual moan at tossers who don't turn on their lights or believe that sidelights are sufficient. We've moved on from 6v electrics and dynamos you dim (literally) tw*ts.