1 You can judge a person’s character just
by looking at their shoes.
2 Gay waiters don’t make you feel
uncomfortable.
3 You can talk to members of the opposite
sex without having to picture them naked.
4 You don’t have to reach down every so
often to check that your balls are still
there.
5 You don’t have to fart to amuse yourself.
6 You can sleep your way to the top.
7 You get off the Titanic first.
8 You can cry and get off speeding fines.
9 You have never lusted over a cartoon
character, or central character of a
computer game.
10 You live longer and therefore get to cash
in the life insurance.
11 When you dance you don’t look like a
frog in a blender.
12 You know that size matters.
13 You get a whole new lease of life from a
new lipstick.
14 Condoms make no significant
difference to your enjoyment of sex.
