Author Topic: Hotels  (Read 5644 times)

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Offline 2112

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Hotels
« on: September 27, 2014, 18:15:49 »
Yes, Hotels. These wonderful buildings have everything the thinking man can require on his travels. They usually offer somewhere to park, comfy beds, copious quantities of hot water, fresh towels and even room service ! You can get a nice breakfast there or even an evening meal, possibly with a nice bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape and a nice Cognac to finish of a fine evening. Some even offer Spa treatments where the weary traveler may have his/her aches and pains soothed away in blissfully harmonious surroundings.

The best bit about hotels is you don't have to take them with you, meaning more room in the panniers for a nice bottle of Veuve Clicquot or a Heidsieck & Co or even a Tattinger (if you're slumming it...). Hotels - this is the future of 'camping'.


P.S. for best results avoid the 1*, 2*, 3* and 4* ones, full of rif raf... Toodle pip.
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline Holmsey

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2014, 18:26:03 »
I think the second Vamper has reared their head  :shrug:
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Offline MartinW

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2014, 18:45:08 »
2112 - I think I might have been to one of them hotel thingies. Does a bit of totty come round and clear up and make your bed for you ?
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Offline tallpaul

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2014, 19:32:29 »
Stayed in loads of them over the years as a traveling service engineer. Rule number one on arrival is to empty the contents of the tea, coffee and sugar packs from the brewing facilities. Do that for every day in residence equals free brews when you get home! Don't get them perks kipping in a crusty transit...
Old enough to know better, but still too young to care...

Offline Brockett

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2014, 23:42:02 »
As the evening draws in on the campers they heap brushwood onto the fire pit and talk pish lol  until all the booze has been drunk  :obscene-drinkingchug: and they stagger off to their tents, trying to recall the names of the folk whose company they have so much enjoyed. Meantime the indoor folk have sat in the bar paying four times the price for every drink ### , their attempts at conversation defeated by the blaring PA which never does quite play anything anywhere near their kind of music :GRR:  until they wander of to their room where they turn on the telly and watch the same old crap they could have seen had they stayed home :wtf: .

I'd rather be camping or vanping.

Although, hotel walls do muffle the amateur snorers still there are some strommer who could easily destroy the walls of Jericho. ( no names  - no writs)
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Offline 2112

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2014, 08:36:00 »
Quote from: "MartinW"
2112 - I think I might have been to one of them hotel thingies. Does a bit of totty come round and clear up and make your bed for you ?

They only clear up if you've made a mess  :shy:
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline SausagesDad

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2014, 09:00:15 »
That happens at home but my bit of totty usually makes the bed saying "why do I always have to make the bed? It's not a bloody hotel you know."

I don't understand making the bed. It just gets unmade again. Very inefficient process.

Offline 2112

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2014, 14:12:50 »
Quote from: "SausagesDad"
I don't understand making the bed. It just gets unmade again. Very inefficient process.

Agreed, it's a bit like getting washed, all that fuss and bother getting wet just to get dry again.
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'

Offline Gassoon

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2014, 17:42:00 »
Quote from: "2112"
Agreed, it's a bit like getting washed, all that fuss and bother getting wet just to get dry again.


 lol   With that statement - At heart you must be a camper!
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Offline MartinW

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2014, 07:40:26 »
I stayed in a really posh van on Friday night. It was a Korean model called a Hotelus Luxurious and comes with a Maid, a Restaurant and a bar. Recommended !

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Offline 2112

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Re: Hotels
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2014, 17:17:24 »
Martin, you truly have grasped what 'alternative camping' means. I salute you sir.

P.S. nice pad  :thumb:
It's pronounced 'twenty-one-twelve'