One thing Lockdown has shown me is that scientists were wrong.
Neanderthals didn't die out as there is a healthy population in Port Talbot.
First thing in the afternoon, once every two weeks (dole day), I've witnessed the female hunter gatherers dressed in their finest Adidas tracksuit (Le Coq Sportif if upper class Neanderthal) and fake Nike trainers, fake Gucci handbag heading off to do the hunting grounds of the local Lidl and B&M.
Quite often these females are the Alfa female of the cave, will join with other Alfa's from other caves to form what is known as a "Click".
These clicks usually form at a young age in the local schools. They break and reform whenever one of them mates with the others male.
These "Clicks" attend the shops gathering all the 'quick' food stuff available, like super noodles, pot noodles, oven chips and frozen chicken nuggets for the family members to engorged themselves on when they return home.
Quite often these "Clicks" will have one or two of the females take along a child, either due to her male now being mated to another female so there is no one home to ignore the young offspring, or the more likely reasons they have taken a child to large for the pushchair to aid her in the "5 Finger Discount"
While the female is out the Male pulls on the same pair of piss stained Lonsdale shorts and curry stained white vest he's been wearing for weeks.
The males uses this time to ignore his offspring (known as "Brats") and continue his army training on Call Of Duty ready for when the army need him or for the Friday Night Fight at the local watering hole.
This morning routine is usually only broken by the smashing of something in another room caused by the "Brats", a knock at the door from the "Dealer" offering goods or demanding payment.
On rare occasions when the local constabulary stop drinking coffee and eating doughnuts, there can be a somewhat louder bang on the door from a 20kg ram known as the "Master Key".
These "Raids" as they are known usually only conducted on the Neanderthal caves where both Male and Female are Alfa's and where their main source of income comes from the growth of herbal remedies.
