Three old brothers........

[Joe Rocket]

....shared a house together aged 96, 94 and 92 years.

The eldest went upstairs to run a bath. He stripped off and hung a leg over the edge, he stopped and shouted down to his brothers "I can't remember whether I was getting in or out of the bath!"

The middle brother shouted back "hang on I'll come up and help you out!". He stopped half way up the stairs and shouted "I can't remember if I was going up or coming down!"

The youngest brother shouted back "I hope I'm not like that when I reach your age!" He knocked on the wooden table twice for luck and continued "I'll be up and help you both when I've seen who's at the front door!"

[Joe Rocket]

How to drink an unlimited amont of beer without getting drunk.

An infinitive number of mathematicians formed a queue at the bar. The first said "I have a pint of beer please." The barman poured it and put it on the bar. The second said "I'll have the same beer but only a half please." The third asked for a quarter of a pint. The fourth asked for an eigth of a pint, the next a sixteenth.......

At that moment the barman said "Stop!" He took a second glass and poured another full pint, putting it next to the first.

He said "The problem with you mathematicians is you don't know your limit!"


(very clever and true, btw)