The Quotes Museum

[loggamatt]

And the £100 was all worthwhile to end up in the quotes museum again!  

[Gassoon]

The ' Unusual Biking Pleasures' thread (top shelf of WHSmiths?) entertains. For the literary amongst us:

Youth

Bluesboy said :"I like standing up on the footpegs as I hurdle speed bumps. Sometimes pretending to be Frankie Dettori without the drugs or italian accent or whip for that matter....."

The Heart of Darkness

(on sidecar outfits) Sofa revels in "Riding an outfit to an event and arriving as the cruiser riders are strutting about or sports riders hobbling. Slipping the clutch so some attention is gained, turning into the parking area and as folk look up waggle the bars so it looks like its going into a tank slapper and I appear to have lost control. Then turning left, opening the throttle and lifting the sidecar while trying to appear that I am still loosing control. riding round on two wheels for a bit until I get level with a parking space, dropping the chair down then nailing the back brake on the bike so the whole thing turns right like the bike in Tron and comes to rest in the chosen spot.
Arrrhhhh, yes, you might have a bigger/faster/shinier bike than me but I bet you can't do that!!!

The End of the Tether

Leave it to Keith Cross and 2112 respectively: "Outfits are weird to ride. Crashed everyone I have ridden."

"Me too ! Thankfully I've only ridden the one - a vile Jawa 350 combo. I hit a gate post with the sidecar and flew over the bars like 'Mary Poppins the Vegas years'. Ohh the shame..."

[Oldie]

62 replies so far and not one mention of rings or posts? What variation of the game is this thread about  

[Gassoon]

In the Free copy of Ride magazine thread, Mr Graves, long-time strommer, shows us how to really live life to the full:
                          "Ordered my copy, it can be my Christmas present to myself."

 

[Gassoon]

In How To... section, Descolada makes a simple typing error:

Hi All,
I am preparing to fit some lowering links to my V-Strom and was wondering if anyone knows the torque setting for the lowering link/bogbone bolts?

Strommer's reply is sheer class

"I think you mean Dogbone...a Bogbone is something entirely different I.e. , a sit-down toilet visit made difficult by morning priapism...."

[Juvecu]

[Fatbelly]

Yes, I had to look it up too.

Astonishingly the Wiki page on priapism has a long medical explanation which then ends with this line:

"Recently, the vibration of BMW motorcycles manufactured in 1993, coupled with a Corbin aftermarket seat, has been claimed as the cause for Priapism for one California resident".

[loggamatt]

Yeah, I read about that a few weeks back... the bloke has had a non-stop erection after riding his BMW, true story. Now you know why BMW riders are too preoccupied to nod at other bikers!

[Gassoon]

Hmmm - now I'm not sure I want to see BMW riders nodding their helmets at me...

[Abercol]

[mjc506]

Got to add this comedy genius here:

I haven't really seen any reports of specific attempts to make the front of bikes look like big carnivore faces, but the resemblances of bike fronts to familiar critters seems obvious to me.




compared with...




There it is.

[2112]

Brilliant  

[Gassoon]

Agreed. Pat also said this, which made me stop and think...

"Egg and Bacon

 Egg, sausage and Bacon;

 Egg and Spam;

 Egg, Bacon and Spam;

 Egg, Bacon, sausage and Spam;

 Spam, Bacon, sausage and Spam;

 Spam, Egg, Spam, Spam, Bacon and Spam;

 Spam, Spam, Spam, Egg and Spam;

 Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam;

 Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam"

 :eusa-think:

[Gassoon]

The Mayan calendar (or somesuch bollocks) predicted the END OF THE WORLD this week.

Andy (FatRat) posted:

As the world is due to end in the next hour or so I thought I'd take this opportunity to say that;

I hate running this site
You lot really cheese me off
I think most of you are sexual deviants
You smell and your Mum dresses you funny

Up yours

Andy

For the benefit of the less observant - the world did not end. And a disappointed Andy came hesitantly back with:

Right, this is a little awkward  we all appear to still be here  

Of course you will make allowances for the stress I was under and of course what I meant to say was;

As the world is due to end in the next hour or so I thought I'd take this opportunity to say that;

I love running this site
You lot really motivate me
I think most of you are top people
You smell great and your Mum dresses you well

 Merry Christmas

Andy

[Gassoon]

What have you done to your strom today

2012 Strom Award for 'Unusual Reaction To Receiving Strom Merchandise' goes to Reksut...

I've received my V-Strom.co.uk decals


Now it feels like Christmas


I'm so excited I could defecate

He did go on to say he was joking, to be fair.

[Gassoon]

Everyone getting sorted for Christmas - lots of sprocket changing, tweaking, brake-fettling, chain-lubing, tank-brimming; and expecially washing and spraying with ACf-50 and GT type-stuff. Mr diver shows true winter strom spirit...

god washed the bike for me today. just as I'm going past the collage by work the road was flooded. cars turning back, so of course I went through it. turned round and went back round for another go. great fun. same plan for the way home.

 

[Fatbelly]

I do like a nice collage at Christmas, sets off the tinsel a treat, so it does!

[Gassoon]

Quotes Museum Opening hours Christmas/New Year 2012

The V-Strom.co.uk site is now widely recognised (by me) as one of the nation's leading educational establishments, an open resource where even foreigners are welcomed ; )...but still has to close during hols.

Christmas Eve........closed for desperate last-minute, sweaty shopping-in-Toon reasons
Christmas day........closed for obvious reasons
Boxing day............closed for in-law reasons
Rest of week.........What the hell! Pulling a sickie!
New Year eve........Howay man!
New Years Day.......Will not be able to focus
Rest of week.........Busy avoiding New Year resolutions. So open. :occasion-xmas:

[MartinW]

Contradiction alert ...

Quotes Museum Opening hours Christmas/New Year 2012
Christmas Eve........closed for desperate last-minute, sweaty shopping-in-Toon reasons

How did that get posted then?

[gbrchill]

The V-Strom.co.uk site is now widely recognised (by me) as one of the nation's leading educational establishments, an open resource where even foreigners are welcomed ; )

Steady on there, we don't want just any riff-raff coming in and walking their muddy boots over our precious Axminster woven woolen pile; bringing their Oh-so-foreign ways in here. Next thing you know and there will be women and children in here too.