Suzuki V-Strom (VStrom) Owners Club DL250, DL650, DL1000 & DL1050
Other Stuff => The Blue Oyster bar => Topic started by: Juvecu on November 10, 2012, 20:20:44
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Gassoon, a long time member of the forum, has come up with a suggestion to have a thread dedicated to saving quotes that define V-Strom.co.uk so that they aren't lost. Or as he put it:
People on this forum come out with some classic statements, which are lost as the mists of time descend over the thread in which they appeared... It seems a shame.
This thread was created for the purpose of saving these poor quips from a terrible fate: from being forgotten :bawl:
Gassoon has volunteered to be "Quotes Museum Curator" and will collect these for safe keeping for future generations. No one can expect of him to find all the good ones by himself. Thousands of posts were already made and many thousands are still to come on this busy forum. We ask that if you come across something funny, be that in an old thread or a new one, that you quote it here in this thread.
He explains what he is looking for:
The quotes are standalone statements which are amusing in themselves, or pithy; but which somehow express the qualities of the forum.
Just a quick set of examples:
LaKraven wrote: "I'd bet my bottom dollar that our unelected, nanny-state, moronic, government arseholes will make them illegal by the end of the year!"
doboy said "I think in the future as the oil runs out only the rich & powerfull will have access to cars we,ll be back to riding a thing with a leg on each corner ...y-a-a-h-o-o .. "
jackmeoff said: "...I paid over 250 quid for this jacket because of the goretex name and it may as well be a teabag..."
just a brief quote which may or may not be humorous, but which somehow represents the character of the forum...
The idea is not to only have quotes in this thread so feel free to "lol" or lol or :groan: as you see fit :thumb:
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Glad this is actually happening :)
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My first contribution then, from the Wanted section, I thought the way this was put was hilarious:
Following my recent unscheduled dismount I am on the lookout for a few things firstly I'm after a screen for my '57 plate wee also the bracket to mount it on the bike :) cheers
From now on if I fall off it was simply an "unscheduled dismount" lol
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Contender for 'Best Thread Title 2012'
MILKY SPY HOLE
Yes, on Monday, January 9th, 2012, Dan The Man used those words to describe his Strom oil issue. Say the three words slowly, savour them.......................................lovely. Now phone me up and say them again.
Milky Spy hole
Sounds like some kind of dodgy red light district film but noticed this the other day
Spy window has take a turn for the worse and gone all white (barely visible oil level) not really the best thing to notice on a new 1700 mile bike :(
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lol.. Lovely. I feel a bit sick now..
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Jacko gave us this puzzle to figure out
Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:45 pm
If sheepskin is so comfortable why aren't we all riding around on sheep?
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I hear that in Wales and New Zealand, riding sheep is a common pastime!
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How about one I heard several years ago.
`All of a sudden I was at one with the road'
Just after a friend fell off.
Keith C
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The geek in me likes to think of it as "cosmically random state of entaglement with the road"
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I like to say I suddenly found myself proceeding down the road without my bike.
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I like to say "and I made it home without incident, as usual", personally.
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A one I used a while ago to describe vigorous use of the throttle -
"spanking it like you would a ginger stepson"
Always brings a smile :) (err, unless your ginger AND a stepson...)
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Some of these are almost like "name and shame":
Awesomesauce!
Did you really type that?
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lol 'At one with the road...'
Excellent additions to the museum, all of the above...in the cabinet marked 'Offs - euphimisms', and the 'Ginger' cabinet (hope my missus never comes to this museum :shock: ). That cabinet is right next to the one labelled 'Bald' in which pride of place is reserved for Kojacks explanation of his username (for the older ones here): No I don't like lollipops and I'm not the fuzz, But I am bald as a coot.
I looked up 'Awesomesauce' and it google offered a link to something called 'Brazilian sauce' - which I didn't dare to do...
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Brazillian sauce is where you take a plate and coat just a tiny little strip of it with Ketchup, leaving the rest of the plate covered in copious amounts of grease and tanning oil.
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On reading of yet another factual innaccuracy by the cretins at MCN, Fatbelly (Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:48 pm) said this:
"This is really useful information -
It shows you for certain that MCN is full of shit and should never be taken too seriously".
:clap:
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Jacko gave us this puzzle to figure out
Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:45 pm
If sheepskin is so comfortable why aren't we all riding around on sheep?
What's the best way to shag a sheep? ... on it's back so you can kiss it as well! :)
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:-x :shock:
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What's the best way to shag a sheep? ... on it's back so you can kiss it as well! :)
This sort of talk is not suitable for a museum - most inappropriate! - what group are you with boy? Who is your teacher? Speak up now! :neen:
Another 'Best Thread Title 2012' contender, is of course....'Bit of muff...', which has some of us excited and those of a more american persuasion baffled (until they googled it). JonH explained his title:
"I've been using cheap-arse bike-it bar muffs for a couple of years but want something a little better for this winter..."
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A political handgrenade was thrown into the great pool of the unwashed which is the forum today, when someone asked if socialism is on the rise. During the fairly healthy shenanigans that followed many opinions were offered, and Fatbelly had this to say:
"Lots of people on this site say stuff that I hate - but thank goodness they have the balls to say it anyway."
And, on politicians, Monsieur LaKraven (I imagine him in a cravat for some reason ; ) got into the Christmas spirit with "I genuinely hope these bastards burn in hell!"
Hats off to you both!
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LaKraven definitely wears a Kravat..
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LaKraven definitely wears a Kravat..
I assure you, I wear no such thing!
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HA! A likely story!
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Reksut offered an insight into his excellent safe riding record:
Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:52 pm
"I don't dream when I'm riding,, its dangerous..."
Note to self: must stop doing that.
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Amazing news about LeKraven's mouse population explosion... mutant super-intelligent (escaped from lab?) mice overunning the house , he tried glue-traps, but
"The mice were clever enough to place stuff like paper over the trap, then walk over the paper-covered section to steal the bait."
Future revelations involving tiny zipwires can be expected.
Carlos suggests: get a pellet pistol or rifle and some infrared light . and do a stake out ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkqmDgXAWQ0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkqmDgXAWQ0)
Cue dozens of bleary-eyed strommers watching armies of rats being shot in green night-vision , and one Curator hauled to bed by his ear :GRR:
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Glitter Island thread started by Bluesboy...somewhere for us to send the dregs of humanity (or those you take a mild disliking to). J Savile and similar are swiftly sent there, Chuck Norris (only to dispense justice Chuck, you're a top bloke, honest). Jonathan King is parachuted in, to which Abercol says
"Aye, Chuck'll finish off Jonathan King faster than a box of chocolates at a weightwatchers convention!"
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"Aye, Chuck'll finish off Jonathan King faster than a box of chocolates at a weightwatchers convention!"
Amen to that!
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Loggamatt, in lusting after bigger engined bikes with more gadgets in the belief that this makes them better, makes SimonW say...
"Better" is a big generalisation and means different things to different people. The BMW is "better" because it has electronic fly-by-wire, bluetooth integrated, multi-mode ball warmers. The new DL1000 is "better" because it doesn't, so they can't go wrong. And so on...
EDIT: And if that doesn't get me a place in the quotes museum I want a refund.
:clap:
ps Simon, you got in using 5 vouchers cut from the Daily Express anyway (and your dirty secret is out!)
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nbsdave confided this, in the unusual biking pleasures thread:
Sometimes when she is on the centrestand and I am cleaning/chain lube or whatever, I pause and just look her over-I know she's no beauty but I do enjoy just looking at her.
:)))
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ps Simon, you got in using 5 vouchers cut from the Daily Express anyway (and your dirty secret is out!)
:shy:
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Stromtrooper james posted about his near miss due to an imbecilic car driver in 'the good news and the bad news!' thread.
Jacko said "...you should be allowed, by law, to pull them over and piss on their seats..."
Mr Diver adds a recent experience..."I'm going though the middle and some t**t in a new fancy Jag gives one flash of indicator and moves into the other lane... I was already along side him and had to break hard. slowly scraped down his passenger side door and front quarter...
got home and there's a lovely bit of metallic blue paint on the mushroom lug on the pannier rack. no marks on the bike- that's what his insurance is for- payment for his stupid actions. He was most likely on the phone to tell the house keeper to keep the venison warm he's going to be late from the golf club."
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In 'Peaklife motorcycle sat-nav' thread Ali wisely sums up how to treat sat-navs:
"I think the main problem with Sat Navs is that people tend to follow them blindly and all common sense goes out of the window. Learn how to use them properly and they are a godsend."
Not a quote exactly, but Ali posts a brilliant 1,200 word essay to assist the lads planning a 'Euro Trip 2013' :) That sums up the forum spirit!
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=15485&start=30 (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=15485&start=30)
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On the thread "New colours for 2013", Fatbelly expresses his excitement over the new colour range by saying:
From Suzuki's news letter, new colours for next year on show at the NEC. Everyone hated the old blue so why not bring it back?
Reksut replied:
I like black,, unless they can come up with something darker....
The question is: what's darker than black? I'm thinking "poltician's soul", but we all know they don't have one!
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Reksut also said: "Mind you,, my red one is pleasing me right now....
That has got to get into the quotes thingy :grin: "
And speaking as a mild-mannered curator that sounds like a threat, so it's in. I mean, just look at him, with his blue hat on - who's going te argue?
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The 'good news, bad news' thread is a bit of a goldmine...Fatbelly said this about shit riders:
"When I was a bike instructor years ago I remember sitting down with a bloke and saying, "Please, don't continue with motorcycling, I'm really scared of what might happen to you". I think maybe I saved his life."
While loggamat stared discomfort right in its very ugliest face..."Was riding back home ... I was tired, and in quite a bit of pain because one of the cables for my heated socks (I know, I'm a girl) had wedged itself underneath my knee armour."
Brings a tear to the eye. :handgestures-salute:
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Yoyo wonders about the wisdom of buying a Glee over his bigger engined bike:
"I can get a great deal on a new Glee but I'm concerned I'll be bored of it in 6 months and will miss the grunt of a litre bike..."
Jacko has a glee, and says
"The Glees v twin will perform in a different way to your 600 inline fours...I've ridden all sorts of big bore bikes, I find most of them exceed my needs, cost more to buy, are more to insure and use more fuel.. And for what? For more power I'll virtually never use.."
That encapsulates a popular view on this forum, though someone will mention the 'pre-loved' DL1000 possibilities... :)
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What about the pre-loved DL1000 possibilities ?
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Hah! I knew it!
Er, just that he could always get one, if he thought he'd miss the power. :shrug:
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Piglumps alert!
Piglumps is going to the NEC Monday - thankfully he warns us of his probable attire:
]...might see some folks there, I'll be wearing a Senate Electrical bodywarmer and black beanie. Probably some trousers too... :grin: :neen:
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Over in Oily Rag, General while discussing 'What Workbench?' Keithc has impressed with pictures of his huge tool collection
and he concluded thus: "I love the feel of a god tool in my hand" [sic]
(This post needs no commentary!)
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Can't believe that out of all the witty, insightful and eloquent comments I've made in my short time on the forum, I make it into the quotes museum on the strength of getting things twisted painfully in my trousers (now that's a better quote)...
It bloody hurt!! :bawl: lol
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You're right! There are insightful and witty statements posted - and I do have a tendency towards innuendo, trivia and the double-entendre which I MUST curb . (Oooh Nurse!) No, seriously, I try to mix em up...if anybody else spots a humdinger please post up as well - I might be out back hammering together some new museum shelves, or labelling up using the Brother portable. Just bear in mind we don't want a museum full of the ordinary stuff. Not if we want the coach-parties and school block-bookings. that's where the money is. :auto-dirtbike:
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Only joking Gassoon... It was pretty funny reading back........ Now that the agony has subsided!!!! :)
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This to me sums up a common dilemma of biking:
Brockett48:
"KTM seats are made for skinny boys to ride on for up to 30 minutes at a time.
Although when I win the lottery I will get myself a 690."
:clap:
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(Oooh Nurse!)
Ummm... I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, Gassoon, but I think that getting the quote right might be helpful.
You mean to say
Ooooh, Matron!
Anyway... Carry on Quoting!
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Catballou has a nice sardonic take on Fatbelly's unwavering optimism and sunny outlook on life ;)
Re: I hate this time of year!
Fatbelly wrote:It's a long dark tunnel, but there is light at the end, I promise!
Catballou: I once thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, but it was some bastard with a torch fetching me more work
[/color]
:)
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Fatbelly's unwavering optimism and sunny outlook on life ;)
Somebody understands me! at last!
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'Crotch rockets'
In the 'I hate this time of year' thread, some very jaundiced (some might say harsh, too unsympathetic?!) but great-reading quotes from LeKraven
Last crotch-rocket-retard I saw riding like a moron around here hit a tractor so hard he became the pink mist, and his bike magically vanished (disintegrated on impact).
No sympathy from me what-so-ever! That's just Natural Selection weeding out the weaker elements from the gene pool, and I'm all for it!
and from AndyM
The light at the end of the winter tunnel for the crotch rocket loons is when I stay off certain roads. It'll be about mid-April round Helmsley and the like. Out come all the trainee organ donors that havn't been out of sight of a Jerremy Clarkson DVD and a box of Cleenex for five months, intent on breaking the traffic laws despite the cracked tyres and rusted up brake pins. Mr. Plod will of course be out to save the Ambulance crew the hassle of washing out their van and shovels, so anything on two wheels will be fair game. Even when they aren't crashing it'll be 100 mph overtakes to get to the next slightly wet corner where they can drop to speeds so low the biggest risk is the 42 mph picnic-in-the-laybys crowd hitting them from behind.
This stupidity does effect us BTW, our insurance premiums are set by loons who could do their annual mileage in a single track day.
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Hmmm... future generations of 'Strom rider will think of me as an arrogant bastard when they read that quote. Oh well, they wouldn't be entirely wrong :haha:
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Heh! But there's plenty will see some uncomfortable truths in those 2 quotes...
Tell you what, post up some nice little piece which has fluffy sportsbikes, bunnies and elves in the magic woods, and we'll include it for balance (try not include shotguns, blood and guts! :grin: )
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Great job so far, Gassoon :thumb: I'm enjoying reading the quotes here and your comments. Keep it up :clap:
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Great job so far, Gassoon :thumb: I'm enjoying reading the quotes here and your comments. Keep it up :clap:
Juvecu comments on the comments about the comments. Fair comment, I say. :grin:
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lol
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I am attending a Curator Symposium at the NEC this weekend, and have other dreary tasks to do (literally forced to, by that, that woman!) and so must close the Quote Museum for a short while...this should not prevent classic statements being recorded here by other members, however and so...
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-I87I1TnbXRE/ULh24BtKeNI/AAAAAAAAAOo/_gd89qqeT4A/s800/key%2520under%2520mat.jpg)
PS. Some nescafe in jar, petty cash hidden in baccy tin under 'unused Fatbelly quotes' folder ; )
You'll need fresh milk. Don't look in the wardrobe. Personal.
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Coval on the antics of the crazy scooter riders in London:
I know, nature has a way of eliminating the weakest, but seeing these things daily on my commute, sometimes I wish there was a quicker way!
:clap: lol
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NEC over for another year...some thoughts:
by Firestorm » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:30 pm
Went today. Highlights?
1. Liked the new V-Strom 1000 a lot - didn't get surveyed though as a Forum Member from Suffolk was keeping her busy!.
2. Triumph Trophy was really nice - but I'd need to take a teenager with me eveywhere I went just to work the myriad buttons that do god knows what!
3. Also liked the Explorer 1200
4. Guzzi V7 cafe Racer was brilliant - want one as a second bike
5. Liked the refreshed FJR
6. Hated everything on the Victory stand
7. Liked the retro CB1100
8. Also liked the Burgman 650
9. Thought the Chinese 650 looked like a shrunken Pan 1300 - I think the pannier lids were direct copies.
10 The best Chinese bike at the show though was, I thought, the new BMW 1200GS. Velly comfy
Piglumps on the chinese bike stand:
"I had a sit on the adjacent naked bike - it's based on the ER-6, looked alright but as with other Chinese bikes may be water-soluble..."
In twenty years time will half the NEC be taken up with chinese bikes?
Jay2 as a first-time attendee:
"Went last Sunday for the first time, was a bit apprehensive after reading all the other posts on here and other sites about not being as good as it used to be.
But as I didn't have anything to compare it to, I had a great day. Spent £5 on a visor cleaning pack, about another £5 on a beer and a coffee through the day, (brought own food after going to previous car shows and knowing the prices for very little), and still came away with a rucksack full of freebies, pens, stickers, key-rings and handy leaflets, brochures.
Highs - Seeing John McGuiness, having a good chat with the BikeSafe blokes, helpfull Datatag staff, being able to see all the new bikes for 2013, touring advice,
Lows - Harley might as well put 'mid-life crisis' as there advert tag-line..."
Much drooling over Triumph Explorers, general disappointment in the paucity of bargains to be had, with many suggesting for them leave it next year or for a year or two...
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A shake-up in structure of the site by Fatrat this week, to try seperate 'General shite and bollocksy ' type stuff (sorry about the technical terms) and General bike stuff...or something. Anyway, from the new Blue Oyster bar Random Photos thread which included some shots of greywolf's past wives, a salivating ProfG asked: "Any chance of contact details? :grin: "
Greywolfs reply: "She went after me furiously while she was still married to somebody else. Then we were married three months after her divorce, six months after we hooked up. She left me for a woman slightly over a year later then married a man a year after that. She got past addictions to alcohol and drugs and became addicted to new relationships instead. Being with her was an experience that leaves me longing with an ache in my chest occasionally to this day."
"You're better off not finding her. She's how vampire legends got started."
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"If I wanted to be popular I'd buy a Redcoat and work at Butlins"
Although this came from my original quote I used for years which was.
Don't you even think about asking?
These are my opinions and if I ever wanted your opinion Id give it to you!
Either way I'd very much like to tell you.
That my take on the issue is a far more accurate portrayal of the real situation.
Unlike the insurmountable problem with the premiss of your question which totally disinterest me.
If I wanted to be popular I'd buy a Redcoat and work at Butlins.
So "Jog on get a life and stop interfering with mine".
Rob
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You beat me to it, trebornoxid/Rob :) You're quite rightly proud of your collection of derogatory statements, and I will certainly be using some of those myself in the coming days :thumb:
btw - just looked at your avatar, I always thought it was Florence Nightingale with a lamp, now with me glasses on ...well, the glasses have steamed up a bit!
The debate was about 'Carrying Extra Fuel' and provoked strong opinions, around the suitability of containers, potential (and actual) re-modelling Strom fueltanks; and 'simply' avoiding any issues by having a system of filling up when opportune filling-stations appear well in advance, versus the reality of sparsely distributed stations in some (especially furrin) places.
Kaboo summed up the 'serendipity' approach favoured by some/many adventurers: "If you do run out of petrol you can always lock the bike and hitch into town or ask at a house. People are mostly good and you may even end up at some big weird wedding eating lots of pastries and drinking lots of beer ......of course you could end up chained to a radiator in some madman's basement ! "
:auto-dirtbike:
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loggamatt on the subject of spending £100 on a Biker Tidy:
That and I have more money than sense. Not that I have much money, just have very very little sense! :)
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And the £100 was all worthwhile to end up in the quotes museum again! :lala:
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The ' Unusual Biking Pleasures' thread (top shelf of WHSmiths?) entertains. For the literary amongst us:
Youth
Bluesboy said :"I like standing up on the footpegs as I hurdle speed bumps. Sometimes pretending to be Frankie Dettori without the drugs or italian accent or whip for that matter....."
The Heart of Darkness
(on sidecar outfits) Sofa revels in "Riding an outfit to an event and arriving as the cruiser riders are strutting about or sports riders hobbling. Slipping the clutch so some attention is gained, turning into the parking area and as folk look up waggle the bars so it looks like its going into a tank slapper and I appear to have lost control. Then turning left, opening the throttle and lifting the sidecar while trying to appear that I am still loosing control. riding round on two wheels for a bit until I get level with a parking space, dropping the chair down then nailing the back brake on the bike so the whole thing turns right like the bike in Tron and comes to rest in the chosen spot.
Arrrhhhh, yes, you might have a bigger/faster/shinier bike than me but I bet you can't do that!!!
The End of the Tether
Leave it to Keith Cross and 2112 respectively: "Outfits are weird to ride. Crashed everyone I have ridden."
"Me too ! Thankfully I've only ridden the one - a vile Jawa 350 combo. I hit a gate post with the sidecar and flew over the bars like 'Mary Poppins the Vegas years'. Ohh the shame..."
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62 replies so far and not one mention of rings or posts? What variation of the game is this thread about :shrug:
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In the Free copy of Ride magazine thread, Mr Graves, long-time strommer, shows us how to really live life to the full:
"Ordered my copy, it can be my Christmas present to myself."
:grin:
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In How To... section, Descolada makes a simple typing error:
Hi All,
I am preparing to fit some lowering links to my V-Strom and was wondering if anyone knows the torque setting for the lowering link/bogbone bolts?
Strommer's reply is sheer class
"I think you mean Dogbone...a Bogbone is something entirely different I.e. , a sit-down toilet visit made difficult by morning priapism...."
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lol
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Yes, I had to look it up too.
Astonishingly the Wiki page on priapism has a long medical explanation which then ends with this line:
"Recently, the vibration of BMW motorcycles manufactured in 1993, coupled with a Corbin aftermarket seat, has been claimed as the cause for Priapism for one California resident".
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Yeah, I read about that a few weeks back... the bloke has had a non-stop erection after riding his BMW, true story. Now you know why BMW riders are too preoccupied to nod at other bikers!
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Hmmm - now I'm not sure I want to see BMW riders nodding their helmets at me... :shock:
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lol
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Got to add this comedy genius here:
I haven't really seen any reports of specific attempts to make the front of bikes look like big carnivore faces, but the resemblances of bike fronts to familiar critters seems obvious to me.
(http://vstrom.info/vsri-gallery/gallery/d/74964-2/Screen1.jpg)
(http://www.cinematrix.hu/fajlok/galeriak/filmek/catwoman/catwoman-37.jpg)
compared with...
(http://images.motorcyclistonline.com/firstrides/122_0606_01_z+2006_bmw_r1200gs+static.jpg)
There it is.
(http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg269/ChuChu353/bill_the_cat.gif)
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Brilliant :clap:
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:grin: Agreed. Pat also said this, which made me stop and think...
"Egg and Bacon
Egg, sausage and Bacon;
Egg and Spam;
Egg, Bacon and Spam;
Egg, Bacon, sausage and Spam;
Spam, Bacon, sausage and Spam;
Spam, Egg, Spam, Spam, Bacon and Spam;
Spam, Spam, Spam, Egg and Spam;
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam;
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam"
:eusa-think:
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The Mayan calendar (or somesuch bollocks) predicted the END OF THE WORLD this week.
Andy (FatRat) posted:
As the world is due to end in the next hour or so I thought I'd take this opportunity to say that;
I hate running this site
You lot really cheese me off
I think most of you are sexual deviants
You smell and your Mum dresses you funny
Up yours
Andy
For the benefit of the less observant - the world did not end. And a disappointed Andy came hesitantly back with: Right, this is a little awkward :shy: we all appear to still be here :shy:
Of course you will make allowances for the stress I was under and of course what I meant to say was;
As the world is due to end in the next hour or so I thought I'd take this opportunity to say that;
I love running this site
You lot really motivate me
I think most of you are top people
You smell great and your Mum dresses you well
Merry Christmas
Andy
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What have you done to your strom today
2012 Strom Award for 'Unusual Reaction To Receiving Strom Merchandise' goes to Reksut...
I've received my V-Strom.co.uk decals
Now it feels like Christmas
I'm so excited I could defecate
He did go on to say he was joking, to be fair.
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Everyone getting sorted for Christmas - lots of sprocket changing, tweaking, brake-fettling, chain-lubing, tank-brimming; and expecially washing and spraying with ACf-50 and GT type-stuff. Mr diver shows true winter strom spirit...
god washed the bike for me today. just as I'm going past the collage by work the road was flooded. cars turning back, so of course I went through it. turned round and went back round for another go. great fun. same plan for the way home.
:clap:
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I do like a nice collage at Christmas, sets off the tinsel a treat, so it does!
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Quotes Museum Opening hours Christmas/New Year 2012
The V-Strom.co.uk site is now widely recognised (by me) as one of the nation's leading educational establishments, an open resource where even foreigners are welcomed ; )...but still has to close during hols.
Christmas Eve........closed for desperate last-minute, sweaty shopping-in-Toon reasons
Christmas day........closed for obvious reasons
Boxing day............closed for in-law reasons
Rest of week.........What the hell! Pulling a sickie!
New Year eve........Howay man!
New Years Day.......Will not be able to focus
Rest of week.........Busy avoiding New Year resolutions. So open. :occasion-xmas:
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Contradiction alert ...
Quotes Museum Opening hours Christmas/New Year 2012
Christmas Eve........closed for desperate last-minute, sweaty shopping-in-Toon reasons
How did that get posted then?
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The V-Strom.co.uk site is now widely recognised (by me) as one of the nation's leading educational establishments, an open resource where even foreigners are welcomed ; )
Steady on there, we don't want just any riff-raff coming in and walking their muddy boots over our precious Axminster woven woolen pile; bringing their Oh-so-foreign ways in here. Next thing you know and there will be women and children in here too. :shock:
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Two pithy, practical views of one of the great, ineffable mysteries ...
Re: A Germans View on Islam thread
by 2112 » Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:32 am
Reksut wrote: "religion is a sack of shite"
2112 :"That's as maybe - BUT it is worth a few bank holidays every year :lala: "
It's hard to believe those two lads failed Jesuit College! lol
[btw - MartinW, it was a test, glad to see you men are paying attention! cough...]
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On the sad passing of Mr Gerry Anderson...
2112 wrote:Yes, the end of an era indeed. I was a big Stingray and Thunderbirds fan as a child but I couldn't get away with Joe 90 ?
Gassoon said: "Funny, same with me, couldn't get into Joe90...
My wife had a crush on Scott Tracey when she was a kid lol Weird eh? Given that he was a puppet, and all...
Weirder still - I'm still jealous of him!" lol
Fatbelly : "Funny you should say that, I liked Stingray a lot and I loved Thunderbirds, but I thought Joe 90 was a dick - at our school we would have kicked the shit out of him... ".......Exactly!
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Mysterious shrinkings...
Sofa complains: "This constant damp weather really is affecting all sorts of stuff. It is even getting into our house.
So much so that having not ridden since before Christmas when I went out to test the new screen today had real difficulty getting my bike gear on.
It must have shrunk due to the damp atmosphere in the house over the festive season.
I can't think of any other reason my gear seemed so tight!! :rain: "
Keith Cross: "Doubt if its damp, prob those dam fat fairies and their clothes shrinking fat fairy dust :) "
Stibbs: "How spooky, that's the same problem I'm having. Damn climate change! "
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A new logo for stickers etc designed by Rikat originally, and modified by Jeff999 is voted upon early in January 2013.
VstromforVendetta is a site member who joined late in 2011, did not introduce him/herself (in the spirit of the original comic-book character, remaining as anonymous as possible!) or post anything until 'he' expressed a preference for one design. And posted, simply:
"8"
lol :clap:
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Spotted this a bit late, but still a classic, from Oily Rag, 'Changing your own tyres' thread:
Chrisread says: "Its easier than you think to swap tyres, when George and I rode through the America's we swapped all our own tyres, at the roadside mainly.
We used the side stand of the other bike to break the bead but if you don't have another bike handy you can use a length of wood like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNrhMUPxI3o (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNrhMUPxI3o)
You really don't need such a large piece of wood, I have a piece that will fit into my rucksack, also better to have a point on the smaller piece pushing on the bead.... works a treat.
Then two tyre levers to remove the tyre. Shampoo, shower gel of fairy [sic: ooh! Is that magic?] is perfect for fitting the new tyre on with and to seat the bead without a large compressor is the easiest part, just spray some deodrant into the tyre, srpay a line up the side wall and light with lighter. boom, tyre seated. Then pump to pressure with what ever pump you have, we used a 12v one, tiny thing but easier that a bike pump!
So all you need is;
piece of wood
2 Tyre levers (or 1 lever and screwdriver)
lube or some sort
something explosive, deodrant is ideal
pump
takes 10 minutes.
As for balancing, well we never bothered and still have never had them balanced and they still don't need it.
Hope this helps
Chris
This I will try someday...and I bet a lot of us feel that way, too! :clap: :auto-dirtbike:
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Ahem, haven't opened the museum for over a week now, I'm blaming the weather. Anyway, all in order, no frozen pipes or owt, but did find the dessicated body of an old woman who must have been trapped in the loos last time we opened... :shy:
Why can't old people use mobile phones? :GRR:
Anyway all sorted now, though I need to buy a new rug, and the lad at the tip will take my spare winter gloves...
So museum open again, and if anybody sees classic quotes post 'em up!
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From our venerable curator...
"Facebook. It's like inviting everyone who's been on 'Jeremy Kyle' into your home for an argument...; ) "
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In the 'BMW Adventure Maintenenance Course?' thread, is Andy M's excellent (imho) afterthought on prep for riding abroad...
"One bit of touring prep I would do to any bike is bin any electronic alarm or immobiliser, they are the biggest cause of pedestrianism. If they are hard wired in it's best to get 'em off ASAP so the patched up loom has chance to fail somewhere less inconvienient."
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JHGlee said: "This poor bike was left out in the snow over the weekend....Brrr!"
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-AG-eMqJJ9JM/UQWDi-6ScdI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/VzO5DbRJMW8/s800/snow%2520covered%2520bike.jpg)
Ptarmigan suggested: "If it's one those Chinese Jing-a-ling 125s when the snow melts there may not be that much of it left. lol "
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Andy M has this to say on the merits of camping over hotelling:
Re: Tents and Camping bling
by Andy M » Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:55 pm
"The best places have no hotels. They are the best places because they have no hotels.
I bet you've never had wolves howling at each other across a hotel room or woken up to find every stone within miles had a fossil in it? Sat up until 3am working out your position by the stars just because they are all visible?
Breakfast tends to be better too, can't do with all that bread rolls that double as cannon shot and powdered coffee rubbish, tea and something fried or at least boiled is required."
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Can I submit this, from the 'What have you done to your Strom today?' thread?
I did it as I put mine away in my man-shed, conveniently I took the weight on my thighs whilst my not insignificant arse was wedged against my push bike which was wedged against the shed wall behind me. Inconveniently the pedal of said pushbike was slowly but surely gaining entry to my colon as the Strom pushed me lower and lower..
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:shock: :-x
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Bliddy hell ! what's that he's writing aboot?.......50 Shades of Strom ? :shock:
:ty: for those images, mind, snowstrom - I'd been lucky enough to miss the original post :angry-tappingfoot:
Spooky Edit: just looked at original post, and loggamat had made the same joke about 50 shades... :shock:
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Another gem from Strommer regarding salt killing chains:
Don't have that problem - my Scottoiler is turned to "Anti-Tailgate mode..."
That inspires me to somehow add a button to mine labeled 'oil slick' :neen:
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Spooky Edit: just looked at original post, and loggamat had made the same joke about 50 shades... :shock:
I just thought my joke had 'gone viral' as the kids say! :grin:
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Beautifully damned with faint praise!
On the 'New GS' thread, the discussion turned invariably to the failings of the newer Beemers.
Oldie said this : My GS is a piece of shit, but I love it enough to spend most of my waking hours fixing it.
Give me, say, 6 months and it will be a work of art
Great as a fourth bike though
:fix:
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On the meaty subject of horse dna being found in beefburgers around the UK recently.
Greggio wrote: "Just eat horse for f#€ksake what is wrong with you people if there was a global meltdown in civilisation you'd be glad for a rat never mind a horse I'm sorry if this upsets anyone but if I go to Burger King and it tastes shit then I'm asking for horse back but on a serious note I can understand this affecting the lesser humans with queezy tummies..."
2112 said : "A bit harsh, but fair point.
I remember watching the disaster film 'Alive' where the plane crashed in the Andies and the survivors had to eat the dead to stay alive. I almost had the leg off a stewardess when we were delayed on the runway for 40 minutes at Fuerteventura one year...
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Re: never thought about this thread by fishy
skipper wrote:"I had to use blindspot mirrors on a left prostitute van I had, some are better than others but very good when you get used to the lack of distance perception".
Ptarmigan said: The Americanism filter strikes again!
I still don't exactly know what happened, but it is funny :lala:
(answers on a postcard!)
I read it as some prostitutes are better than others, but when you have poor vision they all...No, that's not right...All prostitutes are good if you can't see them from a distance...NA! I give up! lol lol
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In response to p1lts' thoughts about buying a Tiger...
Keep your Strom, spend your money on beer and loose women! :grin:
Edit: just noticed your location.......buy the Tiger! :neen:
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lol Cheers for adding that, mjc! (But could you edit it to include the location!)
I find that I haven't been getting on the forum as often in recent weeks (damned responsibilities!) so memo to all who spot something that cracks you up, or strikes you as wise or wry, or otherwise memorable - stick it in the museum! :thumb:
Also, perhaps I tend to include stuff from particular people that I find funny/interesting, so we end up with the owd 'gatekeeper' effect...more contributors would be good from that angle (still has to be a bit special to go in the museum, of course! :) )
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I believe Ptarmigan was replying to Fat Rat (Carmarthenshire,Wales) but he'll have to confirm of course :)
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RE Americanism filter strikes again:
Mr Gassoon, if you haven't worked it out yet I believe Skipper would have originally written left h o o k e r van, AKA left hand drive. Made me smile.
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RE Americanism filter strikes again:
Mr Gassoon, if you haven't worked it out yet I believe Skipper would have originally written left h o o k e r van, AKA left hand drive. Made me smile.
Gaaah! Now I get it! Thanks Chris.
Never heard it before :shy: ...To me, in my ivory tower of museumy academia, the aphorisms of the working classes are quite recondite :shock: lol
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Gaaah! Now I get it! Thanks Chris.
Never heard it before :shy: ...To me, in my ivory tower of museumy academia, the aphorisms of the working classes are quite recondite :shock: lol
Given your geographical location I think it is amazing that you manage to communicate with us all so well using English :)
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(belatedly) Er, thanks Chris!
Lots of quotable stuff going on, but not much museum action...
I just read this thread through, and it is full of brilliant analysis, opinion, hearsay and speculation...ie well worth a read! I have my own prejudices about BMW bikes, based originally on a tank-slapper about 40 years ago, and a mates' metal skull-plate, but please read on...the entire thread is quotable!
viewtopic.php?f=67&t=17217&start=30 (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=17217&start=30)
A brief almost random dip in here reveals Rasher saying, about some poor journalism which extols (and yet is somehow fearful) the latest KTM and BMW models: "Now both these bikes have just had the press launch, both as yet have not been delivered to a customer, and one of them has already had three f***** recalls - guess which one?
And he complains at the KTM's £12,595 in "Standard Form", yes but it has Traction Control and Electronic suspension in this "Standard Form", the BMW is £12,435 without the Electronic suspension - and I bet it is a little bit more than £160 to add, and fully kitted the Beemer is nearer £14k (But that includes heated grips and cruise control - well worth another couple of grand no doubt, was it not touching BMW heated grips that healed the nail holes in Jesus hands)
This is what winds me up, they hint at reliability issues on a bike that has not yet had a single problem, whilst implying a bike on three recals before a single owner has collected one is the most reliable vehicle ever made..."
Andy M "Your journalist bloke is terrified of his bike and views it as an influence on his travel not a tool. He sees the blue and white badge as a talisman to ward off mechanical gremlins. His head is constantly making up noises and telling him the bike is about to explode. He thinks he "needs" a litre bike to be a man/keep up with the traffic/make progress, he thinks traction control will make up for his lack of practice/inability to match his pace to the road and he is sure he cannot survive if he has to drink tea with some filthy native rather than just whip out the Touratech boilamatic and freeze dried mocha-choca-starbucks-latte. He is in truth a right Charlie.
I've had that affliction. It is cured by a little walk across the desert (Badge made no difference to shaft supporting lip seal in F650 water pump) then living with an Enfield Bullet for 18 months. For long distance travel you need a bike you know. This is more likely a Bullet, 3-year old Africa Twin, XT600 or Wee, rebuilt three years ago with your own hands R80 or a Honda C90 you can just leave with the keys in the ignition and hop on a flight home. A £15000 can-bused monster you struggle to pick up is not needed where the locals ride CG125's at 40 mph."
"...terrified of his bike and views it as an influence on his travel not a tool. He sees the blue and white badge as a talisman to ward off mechanical gremlins." Love it.
This forum produces better writing, more insights and fodder for discussion and the trading of opinion and experience than almost any motorcycle journalism I've read in the last two decades. IMO. Just saying.
Meanwhile, when Mr Diver reveals he'd rather have a Moto-Guzzi than a BMW, 2112 is keen to dampen this notion..."If you get one then they'll no longer be exclusive ! I'll not be able to wear my tight rubber gear saying "I've the only Guzzi in the village ".
And with some nasty images now nestled in your minds eye - my job is done!
My name is Gassoon - and that's why I drink.
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A discussion about the (weird IMHO) game of rugby turned into a good old-fashioned stereotyping session (as it does) and the supposed proclivity of scotch-men (and women) to violence...
Re: Six Nations
by Abercol » Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:38 am
"I got stabbed when I lived in Govan......by my Hungarian wife.....I'd say she'd gone native.
She's now my ex-wife!
Mind you, coming home to find a load of 5 yr olds dragging my motorcycle up the road on its side was interesting...took 6-7 of them and a load of old rope. They'd have been quicker wheeling it, but had managed to drag it over 100yards. A quick think & I paid the old winos who "lived" on the empty bit of ground opposite the tenement a six pack a week to look after the bikes for me. Saw them chase off kids etc with wurzle gummidge like rantings on several occasions - best alarm system ever."
BeeEm riders can of course get the 'TouraTramp' alarm system for a bottle of Bell's a day. ;-)
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WARNING! This entry contains references to POLITICS! Some readers may want to look away now.
Stibbs (stirring) raised the topic of the latest budget, and Tusker raised his own concerns over the economy
..."I mean my topic of the day is this ,,, how can one cut-cost Supermarket, Quality Save, in Ashton in Makerfield sell Cadburys Cream eggs 8 (yes Eight) for £1 whilst ASDA 2 miles away are selling them at 60p each... :shrug:
Heh!
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Ahhh politics....
You hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers.
My thanks to Ray Stevens....
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With regard to Abercol, his Hungarian ex-wife and the stabbing incident. A quick reference to his comment on the topic "Wife missing in Alaska" might provide a little insight! :shock: lol
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Correct Fatbelly!...how did you know that the Hungarian ex was the one that was given that particular pest??
The next ex also got a dose via a very pretty Russian girl I met on holiday in Dubai...not my fault, how was I to know... :)
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Abercols colourful past: Fatbelly said "With regard to Abercol, his Hungarian ex-wife and the stabbing incident. A quick reference to his comment on the topic "Wife missing in Alaska" might provide a little insight!"
Abercol: Correct Fatbelly!...how did you know that the Hungarian ex was the one that was given that particular pest??
The next ex also got a dose via a very pretty Russian girl I met on holiday in Dubai...not my fault, how was I to know... :)
Bugger! lol Its already in the museum.......that's cheating, posting direct (I think?) :obscene-drinkingchug:
[edit: take note - never again do museum curating at 10.30 on a Friday night, after a jar or two).
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Keep up the good work blokes :clap: It was great to catchup on the forum and have this thread to read as well :thumb:
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Debate over best way to handle an off: the general consensus is that despite any theorising, you hardly ever have a chance to do anything at all - its too quick and our responses too feeble, given the forces involved...
2112 said "these things happen so fast and are often over before you realise what's going on. My last off (while travelling forwards - I won't go into a little reversing off...) was when I hit a lamb up on the Northumberland Moors. The first I knew I was face down on the tarmac with a cute fluffy lamb limping past me and an Africa Twin bouncing off the rev limiter on it's right hand side ! Not ideal and over in a blur. Broke two ribs too but I didn't realise until I lifted something heavy four days later - ouch.
Ride safe, it's always better to prevent the accident in the first place" :thumb:
Mr diver..."I've come off the bike at speed before, I let go of the bike after aiming at the grass bank up the side... wouldn't have made the corner as a van was over my side and gravel on the road,
I made a split second decision to trash the bike but put myself in the safest place I could find.
but I couldn't say it was a true decision more an instinctive reaction."
Ali on his one (one's enough) high-sider..."...There isn't much time to think about anything during that Clark Kent moment other than "Sh*t, this is going to hurt".
Once I hit the ground all the air was knocked out of my lungs, permanently on the one that collapsed and the pain was immediate albeit tempered by adrenalin. I was trying to see what I was about to hit and once satisfied there was no danger there I looked for where the bike was going but it was all over in a few seconds."
Keith Cross and Juvecu describe their incidents...Juvecu has since taught himself not to panic-stamp on the rear brake.
Sofa says "In all my off's over the years I have employed the same technique and it has never failed.
I always try to land on the ground and so far have always managed it."
Which reminds me of what the late, great Spike Milligan said of one National Service escapade..."Luckily the ground was there to break my fall..."!
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Now filed in the padlocked section at the back of the museum under 'Obsessive Search for Irrelevant V-Strom Data' is Chris D'Pirates
How many Cream Eggs can you fit in an OEM top box?
Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:01 pm
"As I found out - more than 288..
given the OEM top box is 48L and an average cream egg is 34g - assumed to be 34cm3
Theoretically in volume it should fit - 1411.76 eggs
However assuming tetrahedral packing of close packed spheres means - 742 MAX
but I still have to actually pack them into the box which leave me the conundrum of packing them in without them falling out as I load them. Estimates 400 to 550.
Has anyone else tried this?!
by the way, happy easter".
A full critical evaluation of his study followed, the data weighed, possible variables offered and technical solutions to obtaining a greater density of packing (involving clingfilm, and melting), but possibly the most satisfying conclusion came from PHIL FAT saying: I think you need to get out more
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'Pre-ride routines', started by jabmotorsport induces semi-shamefaced admissions from many:
loggamatt describes routines involving disc-locks, wallets etc, and then At which point I then have to get off the bike, do whatever it is I forgot to do before, get gear back on, get back on the bike, then ride. It's a ritual I seem to find very hard to avoid... I'm only 29 too, imagine what I'm going to be like when I'm really old!
Stibbs is, annoyingly, very efficient however. :neen:
Tusker the opposite of stibbs: Gear on, Bike out of shed, start it, put headgear and helmet on, open gate put bike on driveway, close gate, throw leg over , put gloves on, check fuel level and zero tripometer.
take gloves off , open gate, go back in house , get mobile phone, go back to bike , throw leg over, knock gloves off tank, get off bike, pick gloves up, throw leg over, put gloves on , check fuel level , make sure tripometer is zero
take gloves off , open gate, go back in house , get digital camera, go back to bike , throw leg over, knock gloves off tank, get off bike, pick gloves up, throw leg over, put gloves on , check fuel level , make sure tripometer is zero
take gloves off , open gate, go back in house , get wallet, go back to bike , throw leg over, knock gloves off tank, get off bike, pick gloves up, throw leg over, put gloves on , check fuel level , make sure tripometer is zero
set off
Juvecu has a huge list of checks which on some Paranoiacal Richter scale would be 8.7, and then finishes his post in a tsunami of madness with: Edit: Actually thought of one little ritual I do have: I usually push my trousers up under my crotch right before I mount the bike to make sure the trousers haven't sagged down and cause trouble with me lifting my leg high enough (and so that I don't accidentally sit on the crown jewels...)
lol
User 650 is more like stibbs...user650 » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:55 pm
Wheel - Engine - Wheel
yep all there off we go
:)
But Andy M tries to eclipse juvecu with an unlikely tale of little coloured tags, a margarine tub, pockets and a tooltube, in an orgy of organisation :shock: It's a way of dealing with the voices in your head. There's nothing worse than a nice 450 miler to Dover with the voices laughing at you and saying you've forgotten your passport or didn't check the oil and tyres. Better to pick the thing off the table, into the inside pocket, see the green tag for the pre-ride check and be off.
.............Yes, Andy. :confusion-seeingstars:
Rusty Nuts says: Same pockets means it's a very quick check to know if phone / house keys/ wallet / rabbit's foot? whatever are where they should be.
Only thing that totally furks that up is the new jacket with different pockets in all the "wrong" sizes in the "wrong"places. I'm like a Tyrolyean oompah dancer patting myself down and frisking myself for what I KNOW is there, because I've only just bloody well put it there!
willbo has a mad routine of neurotic checking, forgetting stuff and failing to set off like all of the above rolled into one, and then his signature line says: I'm sane - and I've a certificate to prove it!'...... :shock:
mr diver's routine: get gear on, walk over to garage, pull bike out, close garage, burp, fart, climb on and :auto-dirtbike:
......a fine set of routines which could probably see him into the position of personal driver to HRM The Queen, if he wanted (if he toned down the farting a bit). :grin:
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A thread is begun by blackops asking what moniker we should have for the up-coming 1000 vee seriously puts forward the term 'Veek' ...Ptarmigans fault, that. :angry-tappingfoot:
It's then compounded by greywolf with Veek! It's Vee+beak, sounds very much like beak, keeps the double E of the line and contains an EEK! which is what most people say the first time they see it
. There is much interesting discussion, and incidentally the mystery of what ever happened to Victor Meldrew is answered...
Re: Glee??
by Brockett48 » Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:57 pm
Whatever the new Vee is to be called I will not be buying one if it has a purposeless adornment a.k.a. a 'beak'.
I didn't get to be a balding, fat, old, soft, southerner by worrying about 'image' and I don't need Suzuki to worry for me.
:wtf:
If I get to worry about having looky likey BMW pretentions then I'll start looking at shoe catalogues, TV Talent shows, and wearing matching pants. ### [/color]
lol :clap:
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Stibbs on BBC's 'The Apprentice'
"It'd be great to be associated with the type of money grabbing scumbag who'd be taking part in that show eh?"
Fatbelly with happy memories of the 70's and 80's: "Nobody ever mentions that Alan Sugar made his millions by selling crap goods that looked like the real thing to people who didn't know any better. In my youth we used to pity the kids who had badgered their parents to buy a decent stereo and their Mum bought an Amstrad big box of lights and switches that sounded like a cheap tranny." :clap:
Personally, I wonder if the auto-electrics parts maker Lucas (aka 'The Prince of Darkness') who supplied British bike makers was in any way related to Amstrad?
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'Esso demand I dismount to fuel' in V strom specific.
WLR had been pulled up by petrol station people:The other day Esso in High Wycombe asked me to dismount before I could use the pump.
It was bloody tricky trying to hold the bike upright with my hips and operate the pump at the same time.
I asked inside who had told me to dismount and why, a lady said it was her and that the police had advised them to use this policy as they had had drive offs.
Is it 'health and safety gone mad?', sheer prejudice, power-crazy personnel - can you get more in the tank this way anyway?
Greywolf: There is an air space at the top due to the tube extending into the tank from the filler. It's there to prevent cold fuel from expanding past the cap as it warms. There is virtually no difference between attitudes when filling and the difference may be in favour of the side stand as the right side of the tube is higher than the centre when tilted.
It's easier to see the fuel level standing next to the bike too. A slight mistake in filling when astride will soak your private part in fuel, a very painful experience. Now imagine yourself astride the bike with your nether regions feeling like they are on fire even if the fuel is not ignited and you need to dismount in a hurry with a fuel hose in your hand and the side stand is probably not even down. Get off the bike. It will probably do you good to walk a bit anyway[/u].
:shock: lol
Personally, I stopped reading after the bit with 'your nether regions' ,'ignition' and 'fire'...
Stibbs, who earlier described how a Morrisons attendant had demanded he dismount while refuelling, and he challenged this with Morrisons heads and was vindicated (she went for further training) said:
Yeah I get your drift wolfy, but, each to their own.
I've been doing it years and never had a problem.
Point taken though, there is an element of risk, riding the thing is also risky I reckon :thumb:
And WLR: In 24 years I have never had a problem with fuel and my nads, and I don't expect to anytime soon.
Hear, Hear! But - Is it me, or does WLR imagine that it will happen someday?? :grin:
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Controversy about this http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-22449442 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-22449442)
a motorcyclist who broke speed limits and bragged about it on the internet, basically. Are 'speed limits' too
uniformly applied? Are they really just money-making enterprises, or the best we have to try to protect lives? Or something in-between? The debates go back and forth, and lead to discussion of training and testing...
Andy M says Ah, the driving test: The ability to conform to whatever mode is currently in fashion for half an hour before being allowed to do anything you like so long as you don't go over the posted limit having failed to see the camera or plod.
:limp: Which is one way of looking at it!
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Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:41 am Moaning old Gits...
After MartinW and jimbo wrote about types of people who piss them off...
Fatbelly wrote:Me too, Jimbo, and also leather jackets (or even waistcoats) with patches on!
Andy M says: I think my favourite "tribals" were a bunch of badass, stick-on tatood, plastic Harley riders who turned out to be the Accountants Motorcycle Association of Denmark The fact they were dividing up their restaurant bill to the nearest cent gave it away
lol
Too many Andy M and Fatbelly quotes - lets pick on someone else!
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Abercol in response to a camera related thread:
Looks like a decent bit of kit for the enthusiastic dogger.
:clap: lol
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Right, I found out what happened from the moderator logs. It seems Gassoon has used the Edit button instead of the Quote button lol
Please mock him all you want so that he doesn't do it again :grin:
Its what happens when you send a boy to do a man's job... :grin:
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Eh!? Wossgoinon? (Rubs eyes). I have no recollection of any of this! :old: And why is this empty bottle of Captain Morgan's finest on the desk, in front of my screen?
:shy:
Er, moving swiftly on...
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Ah ha! So, I'm not the only one who suffers from the occasional 'Brain Fade'!! Excellent - I feel better already.
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hookie was complaining about having to fork out £500 for some certificate to get his ancient caravan registered in France, but told them he'd set it on fire instead of paying that.
Jacko 'helped' by pointing out the positive sides of the situation:
Look on the bright side, you'll no longer own a caravan, and you'll be £500 better off.. Win/win.
:clap:
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Here to help. :)
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[belatedly] Glad to hear that Jacko...!
Speaking of which:
Re: fuel economy Wee vs Bandit
by Jacko » Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:49 am
I had 89 showing on the mpg readout after I'd filled up in Leyburn during the Squires meet, I'd been stuck at 40mph in a limit and behind a load of Harley's that I couldn't get past, they ride as one, slowly.
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Hot seat when left in sun
by frez » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:52 am
Anyone got a favourite solution?
Where I am working now the bike is parked out in the sun all day. Any sunny day (few at the moment) and I'm getting roasted nuts on the way home.
I'm trying paper towels over the seat today.
:shock: lol
Am I the only one who found every word of this very funny?
Just when you might expect lots of Viz Top Tips joke solutions, instead lots of sensible ones were duly suggested, involving covers, old towels, sheepskins, water etc - thankfully no creams for the roasted nuts!
Class! :clap:
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Re: What have you done to your Strom today?
by ProfG » Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:53 am
Sharpy wrote:Rode to work... found that it STILL seems to be leaking coolant from the overflow tube!.
ProfG said: "Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory!"
:) :clap:
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LIDL endoscope
by iansoady » Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:32 pm
Ian only joined in June - but is already talking dirty!
"I've always rather fancied one of these and when I popped into my local shop there they were at £69.99.
Not used it in anger yet but I think will prove very useful when I drop bits in the engine / down behind the fairing etc. The head is less than 10mm diameter so should go in most places.
It does say not to be inserted in human orifices though :shock: "
StromGeeza : " So up a sheep's @rse would be OK then? " :thumb:
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I'm honoured to have made an appearance in the venerable quotes museum, especially with my 500th post! :occasion-balloons:
I'd like to thank my agent, producer, fans, sponsors ... etc. (Gassoon, the tenner's in the post. :thumb: )
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500th post ! I hadn't noticed that...forget the tenner, you just won the ENDOSCOPE ! Congratulations :occasion-balloons:
Now - how far away from a farm are you, exactly?
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Woo-hoo! :obscene-drinkingchug:
very carefully...>
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Brockett » Thu Jul 04, 2013 9:44 pm [after controversy about a woman in a shop queue was asked to wait to be served until she'd finished her mobile conversation...]
"Did you see that woman on BBC "Breakfast" this morning ?
She said it's OK to use your phone anywhere anytime. She even said modern women can multi-task e.g. whilst shopping also text, answer email, take phone calls.
I say
Mobile phones should not work in buildings in cars, busses, trains etc.
I'd love it just to watch all them women phone addicts heads explode 'cos they can't text, tweet, Face Book or prattle.
Multi-tasking my arse."
ProfG : That is total bullshit. I always say if women can multi task, why can't they have headache and sex at the same time? :shrug:
Fatbelly: If you watch TV at Breakfast time you can only expect to be upset - what's the matter with you? Televisions should only be used before Tea-time at times of major sporting events or disasters. :old:
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Under the topic of 'Fugly bikes' Brackett opines:
Fashion is a man made construct that drives women to buy shoes based on their looks.
The day I worry (or even think about) what my bike looks like will also find my wardrobe full of shoes that I cannot wear.
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Au revoir tout le monde
by Chris Graves » Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:46 pm
After having our house for sale for almost six years we have finally sold and we are moving to our place in the south of France. We will be in a little village called Pailhès near Beziers in Hérault. Lots of good biking roads and some gentle off roading available through the vineyards.,
Chris is a long-time member of the forum, and offered occasional use of his spare bed to strommers in France...along with plenty of good wishes, jabmotorsport wonders if he could just camp on a patch of grass: Chris says "Thanks for all the good wishes everyone, it gladdens the heart of a grumpy old codger like me.
Josh I haven't got any grass to pitch tents on, visitors will have make do with a bed in a room. Hard core outdoor types can always kip in the open on the concrete back yard. Just thought there is a big piece of grass opposite the cemetery on the edge of the village don't suppose anybody would stop you pitching up there :neen:
Ptarmigan suggests "...t'internet is supposedly international so hopefully you'll be able to keep in touch."
Jacko: "Not sure about France though, it's probably banned there."
Juvecu: "Or you have to own a hi-viz reflective keyboard to use it." :grin:
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In the 'Moaning old bast*rds' thread (whatever) 20th August in the year of Our Lord 2013, Chris Graves (who has recently told us of his forthcoming departure from these shores to live in France), and in the process of lending some support to this neuronally-challenged curator said:
I think that three months to detect the oversight was quite reasonable. I recollect losing the only garage keys for almost six months. it turned out that I'd left them on a bed in one of the spare rooms. They were there from October to Spring time. Fortunately we live in a very low crime area.
Telling Lady G this, has prompted her to remind that I have also still to find two complete sets of keys which are missing without trace. I calculate that I must spend at least the equivalent of one day a month looking keys to cars, bikes, shed, house etc. It was suggested that maybe I should have a nipple pierced and have all my keys permanently attached to me by a very long lanyard. lol
To which 2112 said: It works for me :grin:
lol
And Jacko with a terse: "Combination locks."
Chris's fine sexagenarian retort: "In God's name how do you expect me to remember the number of a variety ofcombination locks, it takes me all the time to remember where I live."
:grin:
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Weeeeee! I made it into the museum :lala:
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Tusker and Fatbelly: Re: The moaning old git thread
by Fatbelly » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:25 am
Tusker wrote:
and its not just car drivers once again today I saw a lad on a 50cc scooter with a phone in his left hand texting whilst riding erratically in the gutter at 26 mph
What the fook is up with them :shrug:
Don't worry, he'll be eligible for a Darwin award soon.
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In summing up... (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=20037&start=210#p185552)
...since 2004 the GS has turned into an unreliable, over complicated,over priced Chinese piece of shit ridden by ignorant old farts in twat suits.
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In summing up... (http://www.V-Strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=20037&start=210#p185552)
...since 2004 the GS has turned into an unreliable, over complicated,over priced Chinese piece of shit ridden by ignorant old farts in twat suits.
I was told that even BMW dealers call them twat suits!
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Aha...the dictionary may help here:
Twat Suit; Descriptive Noun, The covering of the Twat by suitable apparel, such as a G String
So its no surprise all of the Twat Suits are on GS's
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:thumb:
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From the 'Department of Dodgy Similes' comes this in a discussion of 2112's brake-disc-chewing Moto Guzzi NTX...
Re: Guzzi v Strom
by Andy M » Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:19 pm
"2112 wrote: Cracking brakes mind while they were working ! I had a good gander on a couple of Guzzi forums and no one else had the same issues. Probably just needs a reconditioned rider..."
Yep, material defect. The alloy or heat treatment will have been wrong and given a fantastic micro structure but no strength to it. Grips like a surfers bum on a coral reef but breaks up like toffee hit by a super tanker
:grin:
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I think AndyM could have his own sub-museum because almost everything he writes makes me think "How does he keep managing to come up with this stuff"
:clap:
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Maybe an AndyM special exhibit at an extra cost, like they do at the British Museum :)
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so you want to put him in a little room and charge people to stare at him? :crazy:
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Ah yes, maybe a freak show kind of thing... :grin:
Though, I think you'd probably get a lot of competition amongst strummers for being the freak show fat man, myself included!
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Thank you for the kind words. I feel better for getting this sort of thing off my chest, as do my carers.
Andy
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I like this:
search.php?author_id=3629&sr=posts (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/search.php?author_id=3629&sr=posts)
:)
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:) In 'Open Days' for the new 1000, Strombone says:
That Versys 1K is a good bike. I rode along with a white one with panniers on the North Circular and M1 this evening and I like the look. The owner agreed there were 6K vibes arse hat it wasn't a problem.
I am almost tempted to buy one and then wait for second hand Veeks to come out of the woodwork, instead of Plan A which is put down a deposit on the Veek.
[edit: why is strombone talking of 'arse hats' ? answer: the americanism filter changed his slight typo "...6K vibes butthat wasn't a problem..."] lol
I think I'll be going around saying 'Arse hat!' for a while... :) Thank you for your contribution to the english language, sir.
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Ohhh, so that's what arse hat is.
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Amidst general drooling over mr nick's photo of his KTM 990, we have this:
Re: My New Toy (in PHOTOS)
by zimcruza » Sat Nov 09, 2013 10:11 am
Park next to an 1190 at work - looks nice but sounds like a bag of spanners in a tumble-drier
TLPower says: That's just saved me the thick end of 14 grand then.
It has to sound right........
The same issue affects the Multistrada in my humble opinion,it sounds like a skeleton having a w##k in a dustbin.
lol :auto-dirtbike:
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lol
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Right! It's story time! What will we have tonight? OK, by popular demand...
The Story of How Josh Dug Himself a Hole.
I want one!!!
(http://www.mxphotos.be/2011/20110122salonmoto/0776__Yamaha_XTZ1200_Super_tenere_girl__7Dbis_005053.jpg)
His friend, mr diver, his eyes out on stalks asked "Where's the bike?"
So jabmotorsport replied Oh yeah the bike, I want one of those too
:auto-dirtbike:
Jab was pleased with his reply and there was lots of joking about the young lady on the bike in the picture...everybody had a great time...but he'd forgotten one thing! His girlfriend reads the forum!
Pillion Princess Hi I know I've not posted for a while but .....
JOSHUA I believe that you have a lovely bike and a lovely women ie ME!!!!!!!!
Oh dear !
At least his friends would help him out:
mr locky said: lol lol "Pics of young Josh beaten to a pulp please" lol
mr rat said: "Joshua, you need to start with chocolates and flowers and then assess the situation" :)
mr diver said: "And if the bird still won't let you do the dirty you can still snog the bike." :shock: (Er, thank you mr diver...)
And his friend mr juvecu said: "Busted! One for the quote museum, Gas? This is hiliarious" lol :clap:
Poor jabmotorsport!
And all he could think of was to ask "What about if I bought her the bike?? :shrug:
And the moral of the story? Get a stronger password...??
Suggestions posted here :grin:
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Well that explains the whole back story to the comment he made on my post earlier today "I'm already in enough trouble at home" sort of thing. It's good when all the bits come together. :)
However, this is the most irresponsible thing I have ever seem. No helmet, no gloves and no leather/textiles. How this young lady expects to survive an accident I'll never know. :old:
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Easy Des ... Twin Airbags.
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lol :shock:
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From the VStrom First Ride thread (which is 90% about money for some reason) a discussion about Suzuki's pricing strategies with regards different countries, and changes to price of the spotlights has SimonW say ironically:
"Brilliant - the price has already come down in 3 weeks then. By February they [the new Stroms] might be affordable!"
Jacko replied (Mon Dec 09-2013)
"...but still not worth it".
mr_diver wrote: "The price is all relative..."
Geocachinglegend quipped "True, and my relative would never let me spend that much."
Ta -daaa! Ithangyou! :grin:
Next up - some muff thread quotes. [Mods, can I say that? ]
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Finally, I have my place in Mr Gassoon's museum. :lala:
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Gassoon, in the interest of accuracy the price we were on about was for the official spotlights. They'd dropped from £580 to £495.
Good work here though. :)
[edit by Gassoon: cheers Jacko, altered :thumb: ]
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Next up - some muff thread quotes. [Mods, can I say that? ]
You can unless Mr Rat makes a change to the filter.
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Re: More than one bike? thread
by Fatbelly » Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:21 pm
I have a 25 year old moped. And when people laugh at it I stab them.
lol lol (that's not at your moped btw :shock: )
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Hein Gericke has gone into administration again (sadly for customers, and even more so for staff).
Mr Diver liked their more upmarket kit, but says this about their cheaper stuff:
There was a massive quality jump in their gear. Jackets under £100 were made of something that equated to belly-button fluff dipped in PVA...
:) :clap:
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Gassoon, pardon my ignorance of the rules, but are we non-curators allowed to post quotes here?
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Indeed you are! Please! In fact I've been trying to [s:16rh9y6l]skive[/s:16rh9y6l] I mean, encourage youse lot to contribute for ages.
Mind it has to be canny good, and desorving of a place like.;-) :grin:
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Yeah, has to be good to get in here... that's why I'm very surprised when I do get in here, I tend to talk Sh*t mostly.
I take it my little story on the [More than One Bike?] thread didn't make it in then? :bawl:
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lol lol
I helped one of the blokes in the local dealers to put it back on the side stand after he slipped on the wet tile floor while moving it and ended up kneeling and just keeping it up enough to not crush him under it. :shock:
I then offered to sit on it and move it if he pushed it as he was too short in the leg to sit on it... worked but it's a heavy old beast.
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Let's keep the quotes in here to ones from this forum though :)
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lol that's a nice one simon, but as Juvecu says, the idea was to preserve some peaches from the forum in our own 'museum' :) Maybe we should have a sticky area for external quotes in the 'Humour' section though? :shrug:
Diver - it was one of threads I hadn't read at all... :shy: !
Sex machine(s) - life in South Wales
Re: More than one bike?
by mr_diver » Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:38 pm
It it possible to have more than one bike but they do breed.
I started off with a ybr125 custom. That got traded for the Strom. The Strom then mated with my dads deauville and I ended up with a cx500ec. The deauville was having an affair with a vespa in the local bike dealers.
The deauville then moved into the extension.
The deauville then buggered off but not after getting the vespa up the duff, I then ended up with a shiny baby cruiser gz125 marauder being dropped at my door. The gz125 is asking for a big brother and Strom has to take care of the cx500 ec (which with increasing years needs regular hospital treatment) and the gz125. And the Strom is also getting lonely and is looking for a new smaller, lighter more fun focused mate - somthing like a crf250l.
So a word of wisdom. Stop at 2 then get them castrated or you will be!
Don't turn your back on a bike in south Wales... :shock:
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[Simon, man! You should have just left the quote in, no big deal man! :) ]
AndyM on the 'safety' cut-out switches: Re: Handy Tip
by Andy M » Tue Dec 24, 2013
Is the switch NO or NC? [normally open or closed] I'd guess NC in which case just make up a jumper wire to bypass the faulty switch. You'll never be troubled by it again so long as you don't try and start it in gear on the stand.
If I was prepping a bike for long distance the clutch switch would be binned along with its mate on the side stand. I manage to remember that McDonald's serve hot coffee and eating yellow snow is bad so I might survive.
Andy
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For once, not a funny quote for the archives:
Re: ACF 50 on tyre...maybe
by bosnjo » Mon Dec 30, 2013
Try to cover that spot with a lot of baby powder, leave it for one hour, then just wipe off or aspirate with vacum cleaner. That's the technique we used when I worked as a mechanic. We used it on brake pads, brake shoes, brake discs and drums, whenever any kind of grease found its way where it shouldn't. If amount is big, just repeat the process.
Then, We've used baby powder on every brakes service, even though no oil had been spilled on any part. For example, new disks and pads, no oil spill, we'd cover each disk with powder and deliver the vehicle that way to the customer, without wiping of the powder off. That way we'd make sure braking was immediate and good, and powder would come off by itself just after few miles.
But, that was 20 years ago, back in days when garage would work much slower, just to make sure vehicle was 100% good after leaving the service. We were under strict control of the one old mechanic... you know, the kind of bloke almost walking arround with a whip... The job had to be done perfectly. Then other times came and our way of doing service was dying. Customers started to look for other places, cheaper and quicker. Our boss didn't want to change, he said he loved what he's chosen to do for living and the garage will keep on providing excellent service for a fair price. I left the shop, took some more education and completely changed my profession, and old bloke watched his garage going out of business. Few years later, he died. Sad story.
Sorry, got carried away from the subject. It's just memories of good old garage...
We salute him, and your memory of him! :)))
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Skipper comes over all nostalgic for the '70's, bikes, cars etc. in Blue Oyster bar, under 'Rush'.
Morris marinas are mentioned as well as other assorted crap vehicles...then
Descolada » Mon Jan 13, 2014
"Morris Marinas, Allegro" .. don't get me started. I passed my car test in an Austin Princess. It had suspension that made it feel like you were in a boat when you put the handbrake on. My first car was my lovely HC Viva. God I did some shit in and to that car..."
"No fate but what we make..."
Reply by tallpaul
My brother had a HC Viva! Don't think he ever had a shit in it though.
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In a discussion about helmets with peaks, Andy M drops another gem:
My all time favourite, while wearing the Fly racing jobbie, was a kiddy who shot back to the nearest parent to hide from "Darth Vader". The mother went a fantastic shade of red as I walked by whistling the Imperial march bit from The Empire Strikes back!
:clap:
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Re: Lidl bargain bits Jan 28, 2014
Gassoon wrote:Got my photos working again, and a few days ago picked up this in Lidls...
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-IiziNhMbiIg/UufzmQj1PtI/AAAAAAAAALQ/Ve8VUm2TJ4U/s400/20140120_153938.jpg)
Hilldweller said Looks like a sex aid to me.
Abercol wrote: Aye, well, it beats poking it with a screwdriver...........
The filter man, the filter..... lol lol
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Attila In Seasonal Animals Mix-Up Shock! Horror!
Thread title: Confusion over which Easter Beaver.
by Attila2013 Thu Feb 13, 2014
Hi. Read some of the threads about Easter beaver products. It's a bit confusing to me. Sounds like we really need that so called relay...
I like the idea better than the more usual easter bunny... :)
(Sorry attila, could not resist :shy: )
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Royal Enfield 500 EFI thread
Mr divers wife expressed an interest in Harleys, a painful situation for the Harley-allergic Mr D "...and [she] now wants a sodding 883 Sportster SuperLow...
To her the sportster is a lighter bike to lift off the side stand and feels better balanced and more comfortable than the other options... even with it's 255kg wet. (wee is around 200kg, and sitting on a Superlow makes me feel like I'm trying to squeeze a pineapple out of my arse and lick my knee at the same time )"
:shock:
An experience he never thought he'd have again :shrug:
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From thread: What's the largest/most ridiculous thing you've ever had in your topbox!
by SnowStrom » Sun Feb 23, 2014
I had a huge selection of of prehistoric flint tools that I need to transport, and had run out of bubble wrap... ended up raiding my knicker drawer for packing materials in the end, surprising how well a pair of keks works for wrapping handaxes ^^ smaller tools bundled together in socks, etc. Rode like a ROSPA campaigner on Mogadon all the way there, wondering what the rozzers would think if I crashed and the topbox spilled open onto the road :grin:
Thinking of the police trying to make sense of the scattered evidence, Rusty Nuts suggests:
Evidence room docket: "neolithic knick-knacks in knapper's knickers"
:shock: lol :clap:
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Re: Hola intercoms + Ghostbikes sale thread
by tallpaul » Tue Feb 25, 2014
Some things you have to to take a chance with. It's not like I'm risking a blow job from a starving cannibal or anything, It's just an intercom. What's the worst that can happen?
And tallpaul's signature line? : Old enough to know better, but still too young to care.
:) :grin:
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Moving on competition thread in Blue Oyster Bar
by Andy M » Sat Apr 26, 2014
"Well chaps my good intentions went out the window. I sold the wee."
Andy started a small competition, eventually won by Jacko, to guess the make, model and colour of his new bike, which turned out to be an interesting and rather good-looking Moto Guzzi V7 in black/stone (http://uk.motoguzzi.it/motoguzzi/UK/en/moto/naked/V7-MY12/V7-Stone.html).
He feels its worth it, despite an increase in domestic chores and unwelcome shopping locations, and as a bonus he made sure of naming the bike before the wife had a chance:
I have made a pre-emptive strike on the Wifes habit of naming vehicles. To avoid a repeat of Bonnie the Bonneville, Susie the Suzuki and Sally the Sandero the Guzzi will be called Cheryl. This is because it is registered in Newcastle, has disproportionately sized jugs stuck out for everyone to see and is far from everyones taste, but despite that you'd think it'd be a good ride
:shock: :grin:
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That really was brilliant, even the good lady found that funny. Actually, she finds a lot of what Andy M says funny as I make sure to relay his ramblings when she asks me why I'm pissing myself laughing at the computer :clap:
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Sorry - museum was closed for refurbishment. And we were going to try to open a cafe, with like, paninis and cappuchinos - but feck that.
Mr Magnus' Logic Class
Re: My DL1000 test ride today
by Hugo Magnus » Tue Jun 03, 2014
The main difference between the Glee and the Veek is the Veek's cylinders are more capacious, so you are effectively paying for more empty space :shrug:
:grin:
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This entire thread :)
"Underwear" by Parademic viewtopic.php?f=52&t=23208 (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=23208)
Eg: "...is there a general consensus on what type of underwear is best to wear when riding?
I'm a boxers kind of bloke, but I've noticed that I keep having to re-adjust myself as they keep disappearing up the "canyon" whilst riding which as u can imagine is a major distraction... Not to mention inconvenient having to fish them out at the roadside..."
and gbrchill "Last year I suffered a numb gentleman's sausage whilst riding home from the Lake District - it was most unpleasant and took quite a while to fully recover :shock: "
Or just too much information? lol
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A Cafe eh?...Hutchie'd be spitting nails....what's wrong with a FLASK!!
AS he said...Can't beat a good flask and a quick erection of my khyam tent
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Aye - Hutchie :) I miss the fecker, hope he's alreet. :thumb:
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After a fall at Cadwell, TLPower said ...
I picked the bike up with herculean strength normally reserved for lifting trees off kittens.
Showing his softer side to impress the Ladies I think.
Gassoon - The museum needs you back :) You are better at this than the rest of us.
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Aye - Hutchie :) I miss the fecker, hope he's alreet. :thumb:
:text-+1:
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Re: Yorkshire Dales Sunday August 10th
CAUTION! This entry is a certificate 18 with references to 'shit', 'piss' and 'vaginas'. Do not read any further if these words offend. (er - oh bugger :shrug: )
The full amusing thread contains mild scenes of 'minge grinders' and references to naked men, Inverness and coats. And ice cream.
Now - who could fail to read it, after that? :grin:
3 pages of an attempt to organise a ride with sat-nav confusion and 'which sandwich shop we talking about?' leads to the normally [s:383uz2is]irate[/s:383uz2is] shy and retiring Jacko scolding:
Holy shit fellas, we're having a blat around Gods country not navigating our way to the moon. I'm all for sat navs helping out but Jesus Christ! What's the worst that can happen if you miss a turn or take a wrong one? We're not going to end up 2000 miles away or accidentally venture into a forth dimension through a black hole, or find ourselves in a darkened, haunted castle, it's not Scooby Doo...
Links to .itn files and .pdx this and .grt that, whatever, get a grip, we're blokes on bikes ffs. Ride around, stop somewhere for a cuppa, take the piss out of the chap who took the wrong turn, laugh, ride some more, go home.
I'll stick a map on my tank, like we used to, before we all grew vaginas.
lol :clap:
READ ALL ABOUT IT! here (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=23666)
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I do seem to bring out the best in people.
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During a post in 'The Quotes Museum' Gassoon, while introducing a post from a sweary anger management pioneer, posted this.
'CAUTION! This entry is a certificate 18 with references to 'shit', 'piss' and 'vaginas'. Do not read any further if these words offend.'
lol
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During a post in 'The Quotes Museum', Jacko, while discussing a post by Gassoon which he quite liked, posted this.
'CAUTION! This entry is a certificate 18 with references to 'shit', 'piss' and 'vaginas'. Do not read any further if these words offend.'
Someone change the subject please :)
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Nice to see vagina back in general use, it's been a while...
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Nice to see vagina back in general use, it's been a while...
Huh? I thought generals historically used vaginas more than any other rank.
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Huh? I thought generals historically used vaginas more than any other rank.
When they're not too busy abusing their privates, one way or another.
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Re: What have you done with your Strom today?
by TLPower » Sun Aug 31, 2014
"Putting bike away in garage, push bike in backwards, concentrating on cabinets and wall on my left.
Failed to notice garden rake under my right foot.
You know the rest thanks to Tom and Jerry. Lump behind my left ear.
Could be worse, could've been the right where the wasp stung me." :)
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Re: What have you done with your Strom today?
by Holmsey » Sun Aug 31, 2014 1:02 pm
Ridaz wrote:panic over... who would have thought it was so small!!
[included a pic of the tyre culprit: the tiniest quarter inch woodscrew]
"aren't you glad you only had a small prick ? "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Ridaz » Sun Aug 31, 2014 1:08 pm
"Good job I have a big screwdriver though ;)"
BOOM BOOM :lala: only took him 6 minutes as well [rumour] :grin:
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Re: What have you done with your Strom today? The topic that just keeps on giving...
by Holmsey » Sun Aug 31, 2014
Had to make a choice ..... ride Suzy or wash my motorcycle gear
amazing what warm soapy water can do .... also it was a good chance to use the Nikwax I purchased. I shall look nice and smart next week :lala:
TLPower replied:
Don't think you can try an' corrupt us with your fancy southern ways.
I've just been sewn into my winter combinations.
Washing indeed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Holmsey:
Ahhh the humble unwashed northern folk ... backbone of Britain. .... just be sure to tip your forlock as I ride past you.
lol :lala: :clap: Bet the ride-out next weekend is a laugh!
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I remember many years ago telling our younger daughter about rubbing children with goose grease and then sewing them into their underclothes. She became quite upset and said it was very cruel and must have really hurt the children. It turned out that she thought the underclothes were sewn onto the children's skin.
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:shock: Good god, Chris - wish I'd thought to tell mine that story! :)
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Blue Oyster Bar: Puppy thrown at German biker gang
by Ridaz » Wed Sep 03, 2014
"The title says it all..."[edit: but neglects to mention the mooning, and the escape by bulldozer! read on...]
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10333211 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10333211)
:wtf: :wtf:
MartinW replies: I guess it is cheaper than going to Dignitas in Switzerland :)
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Funny bugger that MartinW :)
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Funny bugger that MartinW :)
He's definitely been practicing his one-liners!
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Timmo is impressed.
kawasaki h2 linky (http://www.motorcycle-usa.com/630/19264/Motorcycle-Article/2015-Kawasaki-Ninja-H2R-First-Look.aspx)
by Timmo » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:52 am
Wow! have you seen this bike, one sneeze and you would have lost your licence or gone back to the future to rectify all the mistakes you have made - 296 bhp.
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The very brave Snowstrom, after her horrible bike accident is now trying to become the NHS's first (budget)bionic woman...
"The last thing they said they would do is an operation to implant electrodes along the spinal cord...to force the pain signals out of the way. It would be battery powered and the battery pack would be implanted, of all places, into my arse cheek..."
Holmsey replies: Wow :shock: sounds a painful rebuild .... I wish you well
The last time my wife had a battery in her arse it was attached to a ......... (well that's another story)
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Only about 3 months since the last new exhibit was placed here (c'mon, feel free to add!)
Big Al wi the Vee wrote:
PS - Is there a ride out on tomorrow?
Kirky1298 (freshly installed yesterday as 'ALBA RIDE/meet Co-ordinator)
Oh feck !!!
I knew there was something on tomorrow.
I've opened a litre of Smirnoff now and it would be rude not to finish it
Think the wind has to be blawing a hoolie and snaw oan the hills.
.......I clean forgot bout the ride out .
I'm now in the wind down and chill out phase. I guess what I'm trying to say is ......
NO . No ride out tomorrow . :auto-dirtbike: :) :obscene-drinkingchug:
lol lol lol Oh the feckin irony! Class!
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Brockett froths his morning coffee over his keyboard (probably!) and delivers this blast after watching
Re: 'The expert' humour video posted by ProfG about the inane senselessless of many, many a meeting.
viewtopic.php?f=62&t=25583 (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=62&t=25583)
by Brockett » Tue Mar 03, 2015 9am
Yep. I've been in meetings like that.
............ we were there to discuss the furniture for the train crews mess room and some woman is wittering on about gender neutral colours for the fabric. Gender Neutral ( FFS).
It was afterwards that I understood the urge to open a sports bag and remove an AK47 and do away with those blaggers and wasters and know nothing university graduates that had crawled their way up in their own personal elevator of sycophancy, but who then run off to 'Employee Relations' to display their hurt feelings when someone (not unlike me) tells them what it's really like, in real life, out in the real world.
Now where's my medication??????
I bet you felt better after letting that out Brockett :)
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Smallest van that fits a Strom in it (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=25706)
by Timmo » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:17 am asked the innocent question:
"What size van can you get away with transporting [a] Strom size bike?"
Snowstrom: "Try PMing Fat Rat, he's experienced at cramming Stroms into his passionwagons :) "
FatRat: "The SWB Vivaro/Trafic is OK...And @ Hev, it's true to say I have had various old bikes in various vans"
Tallpaul:Timmo wrote: [ref snows phys rehab video] Snowstrom! saw your bikini shoot looked scarey
"Hello, have I missed something?! Or is this one of those credit card wotchamacallits?"
Timmo told Fatrat that as he'd not have a mattress in the back, the bike was sure to fit...
Fatrat: "No mattress :shock: good god man, that's like owning a kettle and having no Hob Nobs :crazy: "
:) A line I will try my friggin damndest to use today, in real life!
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I'm honoured to have finally been quoted in this fine establishment.
(Why did it take so bloody long)? :angry-tappingfoot:
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You hadn't said anything interesting before :neen:
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Touche'
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Hehheh! Putting quotable exchanges directly into the museum now! I like it! :auto-dirtbike:
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Just saving you from some extra work Gassoon.
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New member dogbreath , straight in there ( for me, not heard it before) simple and straight to the point
"I bought the bike then told the wife - much easier to obtain forgiveness than permission"
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In steve1962's intriguingly titled thread 'Where Was I?' (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=26223), chalks gave us a whimsical perspective on what goes on inside his head:
As a ridiculously small midget,
living in the lap of luxury in an alarm box with a big blue window, overlooking the universe, grebbing on passers by?
I wish I was tiny.
lol
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Stromgeeza welcomed Snowstrom onto the mods team like this:
Welcome on board!
We'll all try to remember to leave the seat down after using our executive washroom.
:welcome2:
Snowstrom replied:
Ooh executive washroom, nice. I can cope with lowering the lid, just don't use the last of the bog roll without replacing it :)
PS. There is no executive washroom, really.
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Right then folks, I've had my induction, got my stationery arranged on my desk and my 'You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here But It Helps!!!!!!' mug is full of Tetley's finest. I'll be prowling the forums on the lookout for pearls of wisdom, comedy or sheer WTF, but please do let me know if you see something worthy of inclusion into our august establishment.
Snow, Assistant Curator
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From this thread (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27200) about the delightful Headington roundabout in Oxford, thatbloke advises:
always get multiple witness statements because the other party will otherwise claim you're at fault, and that you ruthlessly threw yourself under their wheels in order to make them spill their drink or interrupt their texting
and with first hand experience observes that
engine protection bars rip cars bodywork to shreds. They must be forged from rock solid karma.
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The Museum Mistress isn't going to be vain enough to preserve one of her own comments, so I will do it for her.
In a conversation bemoaning the lack of suitable sized bike trousers for a number of us larger gentlemen, Miss Snowstrom pointed out that there are similar problems for ladies too.
The thing that pisses me off most though is the assumption that if you have a big arse & childbearing hips, that you have an enormous flabby stomach too. My leather trousers have so much room cut in them for a gunt I don't have that it makes me feel really self conscious at how there's a big fold of empty leather right across my unmentionables. Grrrr!
Hugo Magnus (and I doubt he was the only one) had to google "gunt" to find out what Snowstrom was going on about.
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Just Googled it. Put me off my lunch......and Dinner....and Supper.... and breakfast is making a bid for freedom :-x
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Then I'd suggest that you don't google 'gunt butter'...........it gets much worse :shock:
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Live from the West Wales Meet:
Trying to decide who Diver reminds us of, suggestions of William Shakespeare, D'Artagnan etc. Diver asks if it's someone from a film we're thinking of and Josh blurts out:
'Is it Brokeback Mountain?
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Following on from the shock dethroning of our resident quad bike champion, much pisstaking was had. Luckily Josh sees the funny side: (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27493)
Josh's mum & dad may have sold their van in disgust by now :D
For Sale:
2006 Vauxhall Movano - Medium WB Medium roof - 60,000 Miles, Crew Cab and roof rack-
Geniune reason for sale: Disowned shameful son.
Also worth a read are the dead good stories of fun and hijinks around corpses, available here... (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27495)
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Well Done Josh for keeping within the piss taking spirit of the forum and accepting that he is no longer King of the Hill and is just a slow old-timer making up the numbers.
:neen: :clap:
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In THIS (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=58&t=27480&p=273914#p273907) Conversation on sticky centre stands, Elephant was advised to clean and oil the pivot area, to which he replied ...
Will get under my girl and squirt in the lube!
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I've heard some phrases for a good ride but Mancus_Magpie came up with this:
"it's the closest I've been to a bike-gasm"
I don't know what he means...... :shy:
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Rusty Nuts has just realised he is travelling to Greece on Election Day. That made him come out with this little gem.
"Trust me to be travelling on voting day. Let's see if they make a Drachma out of a crisis"
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Stromtrooper James should really have foreseen the response he'd get by requesting in the title of his thread can someone make me a tool (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27587). Luckily Greywolf was on the scene in under an hour with:
Shazam! You're a tool.
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YAY I'm famous!
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Yes, but for all the wrong reasons!
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Surprised it was GW, actually. You must have been sitting on your hands and biting your lip as hard as me, Paul.
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I was. There's blood everywhere...
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He wouldn't bite his lip Rusty, not lettuce you see. :)
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Thanks to Andy M for this delicious quote, very historical and informative.
"Eggs Mayonnaise BTW was invented to celebrate the battle of Mayon in 17-something. Froggies lost by 8 battleships to nil and said Frigate*. Could have been far more interesting. Imagine McHorseburger and chips with rum , salted cabbage and a touch of weevil."
I shall be using it in my welcome-to-France speech next june..............may...be! :wink:
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Rusty Nuts' take [HERE (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=27749.0)] on the more ridiculous aspects of UK metrication, past and present:
...Shillings went. Done. ( So were we, the Penny Arrow still cost a penny the day after decimalisation. Saturday I could have got 240 Penny Arrows for a quid, Monday the same Penny Arrows in the same jar bought at the cash & carry at the old price, 100 for a pound! )
Metrication needed / needs to be done thoroughly, if it's going to be done: I'm all in favour of it.
But I reckon it'll be after I'm 1.83m under.
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I have removed the dust-sheets from the cabinets in this here museum, just to inter this nugget from AndyM, as he congratulates grumps on his new grandchild.
Congratulations.
Treat em like your grandparents did you.High on sugar and immune to any worries about dirt or outside goes down so well with modern parents. I let the nephew help me change oil ( keeps them regular you know) then "paid" him in biscuits. Hyper five year old with oily hands and a white t- shirt :dl_hyperhysteria:
The little *** grassed us up for having two pints while dog walking. Modern yoof :icon_batterup:
Andy
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JRS81 Re: Ooh La La Tour 2016!
February 02, 2016, 01:42:52 pm »
these are just the main ferry routes; there may well be others available, you might be able to persuade a friendly fisherman to take you over in exchange for a days labour,
:) nice idea!
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Beyond the call of duty??
mallywoods Re: Age in the Blue Oyster
Well as an ex MOT tester, lve ridden them all, sports and adventure, the DL650 is comfortable and reliable for a daily commute, then home for a clean up and a couple of weeks touring in Belgium, Germany and South of France...
Rustynuts asks: "@ mallywoods: does the bike mot require you to ride them now?" :grin: :smirk:
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imindoors starts a St Valentines Day Massacre thread
« on: February 13, 2016
With a cautionary tale about buying petrol station flowers, and getting a bollocking..."I hope you blokes have your cards/gifts/flowers ready..." :icon_no:
There followed some neat ideas such as AndyM's: "Took her to the Dragon rally the first year. Anything that involves a meal requiring more than two pans, drink in a glass glass and sleeping indoors is now viewed as a bonus" :grin:
And the ever-popular: "Well I got a table booked for me and the missus.........
Bound to end in tears though - she's rubbish at snooker " :icon_wink: from Andyonbass
After some thread talk about the power of chocolate, Rustynuts counters: "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker".
lol Feck me - poetry! Sort of. :smirk:
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All credit to the above must go to Ogden Nash, much as I would like to claim it as my own.
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I liked this from JRS81:
I ripped out the guts of my Epiphone Sheraton a few years ago and put in a Seymour Duncan Phat Cat in the neck position, and a Bare Knuckles Nailbomb in the bridge position with a coil tap on the Nailbomb ...........
How would anyone know it's about a guitar! :whistle:
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Agreed, Joe - in fact I was about to call Scotland Yard until I read on a bit further...
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lol I'd never really thought about it before, but I suspect that to the average person eavesdropping on a group of enthusiasts chatting about either guitars or motorbikes all they hear is a stream of impenetrable gobbledygook!
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'The Glorious Fish and Chip' thread (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=28697.0) seemed to highlight some schisms amongst the Tykes of the is it 'lunch' or 'dinner' variety :grin: As a denizen of the even grimmer north-east of England, where we can't afford fancy things like schisms, and if we could we'd put a doily on it and keep it on a shelf in the bog, I found it fascinating.
During the debate AndyM replies to hookies' difficulty finding a decent curry, living in France:
"A spot of coq isn't bad though and your roads are more empty, mind."
Snowstrom of the 'dinner' schism (or true faith?): "If you have spots on your coq, perhaps you should seek medical attention? ^^"
Hehheh! Yorkshire!
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From the HUMOUR section:
ProfG's joke...
I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have!" :shock:
Moderator MartinW replied 'Prof - I nearly moved this last joke to the "Trip Reports" section as I believe it is autobiographical'. lol
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Re: Welding
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2016
The 'start as you mean to go on' theory
Mr Diver: "I bought one of the Ark welders from Lidl a few years back.
Watched a few youtube vids, and promptly set my hair on fire."
:grin: :grin:
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I'm becoming a regular here.
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That'll be the prunes. Keeps you regular.
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After Wurzel adapted a shipping container to use as a top box (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=29357.msg277640) he made the mistake of welcoming any ridicule that may follow.
Along came Plumber02 to make sure Wurzel wasn't disappointed.
it looks like it could have its own moon, was it once a cold war fallout shelter , when you say use it for just cloths do you work as a delivery driver for tk max , you could mount a scooter to the back of it or maybe 10 or 15 20ltr jerry cans, if you cut the bottom of it off and put in a few windows you could use it on the pick-up in the backround and turn it into a camper , forget dominos you could fit a complete stone oven in there with 3 small italian chefs , :whistle: only joking bro at least you are handy on the back wheel which will help , are those pr4's you have the GT version cause you may need that extra strength , I wouldn't bother with stickers only the ones legally required for a rigid body truck , at least the price of scrap aluminum is up so surely there's a couple of grands worth there , I'm so sorry man but I couldn't resist :thumb:
Nicely put Plumber :thumb:
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By popular request.
Mark Shelley posted this
- "Rukka Apollo are excellent but pricey if you want three season and waterproof. Always try on in store with Rukka as their sizing comes up very small. Can't beat the old school Hein Gericke Pathan 'lobster' gloves for Winter use."
Then, 40 days later and in the same thread he posted this ...
- "I own both of these and agree with everything."
Then three hours later, he posted this ....
- "F**k me, I have just quoted my own post and agreed with myself! Early onset Alzheimers......I Hope not!"
Well Done Mark. Hours of fun there.
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lol lol well spotted Martin. And (eventually) well spotted Mark!
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From Traitor's Corner September 08, 2016
Andy M has a mild, but inventive, rant about BMWs : "I've had 5 machines by the Bavarian Muppetry Wallahs and am now cured. Weird designs mean they have to cut corners on the materials. The dealers truly believe the Bring My Wallet marketing strategies and aren't just obeying orders."
Triumph in my experience want to become Broken Motorcycles Worldwide inc, and are copying as much as they can..."
Abercol : "I too suffered the Bavarian Motor Wonky. I've never had so many major faults with wallet emptying abilities with any other motorised transport, two wheels or four (and I've ridden some crap old bangers over the years, but enough about the missus) ..."
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From 'The Moaning Old Git' thread:
Moaning about celebrities named within TV show titles, Mr Diver suggests 'Extreme Fishing With Robson Green', and Stromgeezer replies
"For some reason I read that as 'extreme fisting' with Robson Green.
Still not sure I'd watch that though...".
Rustynuts: "Not being an expert, I find myself wondering if there is any form of the above which is not extreme?"
Tallpaul: "No one would watch if it was merely described as "mundane fishing with John Prescott..."
Andy M says: "If they..." [oh bugger it, it's all well worth a read HERE (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=13838.1820) from july 10th on...] :grin:
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From 'The Moaning Old Git' thread:
Moaning about celebrities named within TV show titles, Mr Diver suggests 'Extreme Fishing With Robson Green', and Stromgeezer replies
"For some reason I read that as 'extreme fisting' with Robson Green.
Still not sure I'd watch that though...".
Rustynuts: "Not being an expert, I find myself wondering if there is any form of the above which is not extreme?"
Tallpaul: "No one would watch if it was merely described as "mundane fishing with John Prescott..."
Andy M says: "If they..." [oh bugger it, it's all well worth a read HERE (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=13838.1820) from july 10th on...] :grin:
As well as my eyes misleading me, now my hearing is playing up too...
I was agog hearing an ad for a 'LadyBoy sofa' on TV recently. :old:
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ProfG starts thread in Blue Oyster here (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=31035.0) about safety/insurance implications of cameras mounted to helmets.
AndyM on fixing his camera : I used duct tape. It's a bit annoying where is passes over the visor but its nice and secure.
I..once even ran with scissors too!
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Fantastic Film thread! Warning! adult content. (that should stop you looking!)
HERE (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=31031.0)
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Martin W ............" owning a Strom and listening to Radio 1 are Mutually Exclusive "
:grin:
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I'm finally famous, thanks Joe.
I thought the Museum was derelict.
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The Curator is knocking on a bit :old:
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Mr Diver recently.........
"Only women like shiny silver things"
Explanation please. :shrug: :stirpot: :shy: :roll:
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On a thread about making things with lathe's (http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=34048.msg340882#msg340882), Wurzel reported that he had made gear knobs for his cars. He worded it like this .....
..... my lass loves the knob I gave her...she rubs it to a sheen every time she drives the car .....
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June 12 2018 RHill1207 bemoans depreciation. "Folks I purchased a 2017 650 XT around June 2017 and whilst I am over the moon with the bike. I spoke to a fellow owner who related that the value of his bike also 2017 650 has dramatically decreased."
The replies are typical
Fatrat: They all do that sir.
MartinW Not necessarily all of them.
I paid £3995 Brand New in 2004 and as it has a Silver Frame it is
now worth £28000.
Fatrat: You do know that's not real silver?
MartinW :shock:
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Pop goes the Wurzel thread.
defies description.
here it is http://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=34943.0
lol lol
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In Tuskers' thread on whether to or not to remove helmets when fuelling:
Ridaz: ''129p! It's only 122 at my local Tesco''
Rusty Nuts lol Hats off to Tescos! [geddit]
Wurzel lol lol maybe we need a price-cap...
MartinW It's 129p if you keep your helmet on and 122p if you take it off.
Rusty Nuts In that case I'll have 10 litres of unlidded
quality! lol
https://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=35124.20
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Well curated, that man. :ty:
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Pug27 starts a thread : Keis Battery Aftermarket Connector?
« on: November 26, 2018 in pusuit of cheaper options to power his new keis vest. Soon follows an assortment of madcap solutions - batteries cobbled together with dodgy-looking wiring etc - and after one Mad Max photo, Rusty Nuts says
"If you think that battery pack looks dodgy you should see TLPower's Baader-Meinhof vest!"
tallpaul: "... I believe it worked quite well and TLP is still very much alive."
Bigpie : "Maybe he's rewired the vest as a defibrillator for every time the asbo hooligan lifts a wheel?"
[see pic at bottom]
Pug27 : "...I'm certainly not messing around with Lithium batteries....again.
This was the effect of only one battery letting go on my e-cig!"
tallpaul : looks like smoking is safer, after all..."
TLPower: Hot pants or flares?
kwackboy : Are the shorts made by 'firetrap'?
Gassoon : That's as bad a bush fire as I've ever seen!
TLPower : Coupled with a blazer would be quite dapper. On second thoughts, perhaps a
smoking jacket :)
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john storrie 69 today:
"Should have told me earlier, id sent Mole, Badger, and Toad across they'd have sorted him, I thought rats were supposed to be intelligent."
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Barbel Mick came up with this gem as part of repairing kissofdeath's wheel bearings at a Yorkshire rideout (https://www.v-strom.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=35814.msg368310#msg368310)
I only supplied the Vaseline! :thumb: A very useful item that's always in the back box! :whistle:
:shock:
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How do I get more likes for quoting Mr Barbel in the museum than Mr Barbel gets for saying it in the first place?
Off to the Moaning thread for you Mick lol
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Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me! :grin:
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Is that what the vaseline is for Mick ? :shock:
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JHGlee said: "This poor bike was left out in the snow over the weekend....Brrr!"
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-AG-eMqJJ9JM/UQWDi-6ScdI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/VzO5DbRJMW8/s800/snow%2520covered%2520bike.jpg)
Ptarmigan suggested: "If it's one those Chinese Jing-a-ling 125s when the snow melts there may not be that much of it left. <!-- s:lol: -->lol<!-- s:lol: --> "
Was just bimbling through these posts from yesteryear and came across this...
How very dare you! - that's a bleedin Suzuki you're maligning there! a GZ125 - (the wee Marauder)* to be precise - I know cos it was my first ride (fnarr :) )
...though to be fair you did say 'If...' (and they still rust on contact...with air)
* I was going to say 'the baby Marauder' but with all those entendres flying around the title suddenly reads as far less innocent sounding than it actually is.
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:shy: It's not a GZ125.
The Suzuki GZ125 all had spoked wheels, that has cast alu.
GZ125 didn't have shiny chrome engine case cover on the sides, only trim piece covering the top of the head.
The tail end is wrong for a GZ125.
The GZ125 didn't have shrowed forks.
The GZ125 didn't have twin end cans.
I'm not sure what specific bike is under the snow, but it ain't a Suzuki.
Baby marauder is also sort of correct. In the early 90's you could get an 800 Marauder and 800 Intruder. The marauder having chain drive and twin shocks, the Intruder had shaft drive and hidden monoshock.
GZ125:
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Lexmoto Pioneer?
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I did try looking, but gave up trawling through pictures of terrible bikes. :-x
Lexmoto Pioneer:
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Diver,
You are absolutely right - I stand corrected :bow-blue: (and more than a little embarrassed :haha:)
I should have noticed by the twin end-cans if nothing else! :crazy:- the GZ125 is a single pot machine...
Gassoon/Ptarmigan - My apologies for so cruelly maligning your reputations - I have no excuses, :whistle: except for maybe needing new glasses...
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lol In a museum first, Mr Diver now - ironically - gets quoted in this museum for a long comment he made IN this museum..!...
:shy: It's not a GZ125.
The Suzuki GZ125 all had spoked wheels, that has cast alu.
GZ125 didn't have shiny chrome engine case cover on the sides, only trim piece covering the top of the head.
The tail end is wrong for a GZ125.
The GZ125 didn't have shrowed forks.
The GZ125 didn't have twin end cans.
I'm not sure what specific bike is under the snow, but it ain't a Suzuki.
Baby marauder is also sort of correct. In the early 90's you could get an 800 Marauder and 800 Intruder. The marauder having chain drive and twin shocks, the Intruder had shaft drive and hidden monoshock.
And wins a medal for 'OCD Bike Model Researcher of the Year' lol :grin:
(if there was one)
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Something unsettling about this.
Does it mean the Quotes Museum will soon become self-aware?
Curators could soon be out of a job...
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Can I just point out I worked in a Honda and Suzuki dealership on the parts desk.
I needed to identify a bike at 100 paces.
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Skipping the year 2020 entirely (as it fully deserves), in a discussion about the metallurgy of bar-risers, Rusty nuts comments:
"The Chinese ones come in various colours:
Silver, gold and even green if made from semi-skimmed tops."
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Mr Diver confesses to maybe having a problem, an addiction really - to collecting tents (quite a common addiction on the forum :shy:)
Rusty comments: Take two paracetamol and call me in the awning.
Tallpaul adds: ''Loitering within tent. That's a criminal offence...''
Brockett: It was the day after new year and Shakespeare was so bored he thumbed through the new season, 1595 copy of the "Go Outdoors" catalogue. Page two read "and now is the winter of our discount tents ......."
And look how that turned out.
:shock: :grin:
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Brockett to Barbel Mick about a Café outside the prison at Sudbury.......
Do they serve porridge? asking for a friend
Mick's reply;
I don't know Dave, the breakfast (brunch :GRR:) was at the top of the page, I didn't look any further! :grin:
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Upt North today:
".....since we went to a Smart (?) printer, when I print a document it turns the TV on!"
Nice one. :thumb: